My husband coined the phrase "wearing my grumpy pants". It's funnier when my daughter says it. I am wearing my grumpy pants today.
So I spoiler this, if I love you, I probably am mad at you today. You probably deserve it. Or maybe you don't. I still love you though.
Husband! That kitty litter must be emptied once a week. DO NOT PASS GO. Do not collect $200. DO NOT leave town for 2 days with that thang stinking up that pitiful excuse for a powder room when I can do nothing about it. The cats have been playing Poo Hockey since you left.
Speaking of those two evil hairy nasties that have been living here rent free for almost 10 years now...One of you better stop puking all over my bedroom! You puked twice in the same place the past 2 days, and I found 3 similar piles all over the bedroom. What the hell is your problem? If you're pissed about the litter box, you should've puked in Daddy's suitcase before he left! And that pile on the foyer rug I stepped in BEFORE my coffee this morning nearly earned you a time out in the basement sink. Same goes for the evil one who left a turd in the living room and then peed on the bathroom wall. Grr.
Little girl, there is nothing so compelling about Jack's Big Music Show that should cause you to empty your entire bladder on my throw pillow. How many glasses of apple juice did you con the sitter into giving you this time? Oh, and this game of Pretend I'm Asleep in the Car so Mom turns around and yells, "No sleeping now" which leads to Pretend Harder Until I Fall Asleep. Not funny.
Of course I still love you. Stop bugging me, okay?! Talk to me when I'm wearing different pants because my grumpies are now covered in laundry lint, cat hair, and wee wee.