Since I stopped working, I've been talking about taking Lauren to the local playgroup. I've been working the past few weeks on routines, and since things were on schedule, I asked Lauren if she wanted to go. She agreed, and so we braved the cold temperatures this morning and went.
There were less than a dozen kids there. Most of them girls, most of them around 2. There was one boy, and one baby (a 10-month old). Today, they got a visit from the librarian who read stories, sang songs, and played games with them for about an hour. Now, Lauren is short for her age. So when the librarian went around the room and all the other kids said they were 2 and the same size, the librarian simply said, "I'll bet you're 2."
She seemed to have a pretty good time talking to the moms there, and playing with the toys otherwise. Lindsay also. The other parents, mostly with their eldest kids, largely seemed to gather to compare developmental notes in a game of one-upmanship I either no longer relate to, or never related to. "Ohh, Suzie did that weeks ago." When Suzie, who was admittedly an adorable little girl came over and said "Hi!" Her mom gushed, "Oh she's sooo friendly and outgoing." I smiled. "Better than the alternative, I guess." Her smile waned, "It's Very Good." And with that, she moved on to talk to another mom. The sole dad there asked all about Lindsay's milestones, puzzled that his own 5-month-old daughter hasn't rolled over yet. "Maybe she needs more tummytime, do you think?" he asked, sounding a little desperate. Another mom offered an anecdote about someone's kid who never rolled over, went right to sitting up and then walking. I was relieved for the distraction of the librarian, even though she was a bit clueless.
It's times like these I wonder why I'm so socially inept.
For the past week or so, there's been a dad at the bus stop who waits for his kid(s?) in his Honda Element about a half a block short of the actual stop. He reads the paper while he waits. I noticed the StepMom was waiting across the street on the other side, holding one of her twins in a carrier. I guessed that meant the other twin was asleep in her house, and that the corner was the extent of the monitor's range. AlphaMom saw her and went over there to chat. I guess I shouldn't interpret that it was shunning...AlphaMom and I don't have much to talk about. She has boys, I have girls. Her youngest is older than my oldest. But, if I weren't standing AT the bus stop, the bus wouldn't have stopped while other people chatted and sat in their warm cars. It made me more than a little grumpy, and just reinforced the depth of my ineptness.
12 comments:
We're not inept, just genuine.
I think you've misplaced the "inept" label. It doesn't sound to me like you're the one who belongs under that tag!
I think that would be my last trip to playgroup. The kids might play together nicely, but I'd want a group where the parents play nice, too. Is there a group for coffee-swilling, foul-mouthed, sardonic parents? Or does that only exist here in these blogs?
I used to have more patience for people I thought were annoying. I didn't used to show my irritation to the extent that people would avoid me or walk away from a conversation with me...that's why I feel entirely inept.
@Lisa: I think I will try at least one more time. The group dynamic is all about who shows up...so it might be that I just ended up with a couple of Type A first-time mommies. If I go again, and it's the same crowd, then I will find something else for us to do.
Honestly, I would be about as inept in that sort of situation as anyone. I have never done well in the "Oh wow - look what my kid did at such and such an age" sort of things and these people who make it sound like their child is the first one to have ever done anything drive me nuts.
One of my dispatch partners at work is always talking about the wonderful things that her kids did and whereas that's really nice, I just don't have that much interest in hearing about it. Nor do I "ooh and aah" over the latest set of pictures. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I'm not interested. Hmmm, that might be one and the same now that I think about it! Ut-oh ...
I hate to boast, and I certainly will not be doing it with Chloe.
What is this, 'my milkshake is better than yours'?
I would have been mad, and had I been there, I would have left before it was 'all' over...
But, like Kicking n. Screaming said, that would have been my last visit...
It's the small talk that I can't stand. It makes me avoid the co-op holiday party and hope that the laundry room is empty. Like Linda, I'm just not interested.
@Linda: it may be the same thing. I tried to be courteous when I had coworkers and not bring up my kids all the time.
@Navilyn: StepMom asked me to go with her to the local La Leche League meeting...now, THAT will probably be "I eat an all organic diet." "Oh really? Well my diet is organic, AND I grow all the soya products myself." I will probably not say, "Oh I drink 8 cups of coffee and finish my day off with a 6-pack." ;) But you know I'll be thinking it...
when did our children become another accesory that we brag about to the Jones? "I have one of those new 8gb I-phones and my 3 month old speaks 5 languages!"
Oh please, I'm just happy if mine are polite when we're in public and remember to flush!
And then there's "My Dad could beat up your Dad". Always a great icebreaker...
you could always turn it into a screenplay...i love comedies! or maybe a book? :)
You do know the LLL is a little extremist, right? I might not be surprised if there's a blood oath and hoods... :P
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