Mimi Lenox interviews Epiphany Alone

Since you follow Mimi Writes, you know that several posts ago, she was interviewed by Linda. Part of this particular meme, a 5-question interview, is that the interviewee offer to interview readers who volunteer. I am pleased to report that Mimi is no longer on my list of Bloggers I Must Meet, and she is every bit as regal, charming, and endearing in person as she is on her blog.

1. You witnessed history in the making - the evolution of the nation's first and longest running tape radio station, WTIT. Did you ever actually hear the WTIT Tape Radio? Did you actually ever see any disc jockeys? Is it real? What's the scoop?

I must admit that growing up, I just assumed everybody's dad was a tape radio DJ. Back in the late 80s and early 90s (which continued through the 90s, but my parents separated in 1991, and I left for college in the fall of 1992), there were weekly sessions. I believe I've met almost all of the disc jockeys. I did not call them by their handles, though. Except for Rock, who I believe was uncomfortable being called Mr Rolling. I'm on a scattered few tapes, and recorded a jingle for Dad which he still uses. So, yes, Mimi, there really is a WTIT Tape Radio.

2. You switched the English translation of your blog name to Italian recently - Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate...Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here. You seem to have a healthy balance of purgatory and paradise in your life. Why is your blog named after Dante's epic poem? What is the worst hell you've ever encountered and how did you make it through? (Yes, I realize that is yet again, 2 1/2 questions in one!)

Actually, the two are related. I've written at length that my first pregnancy was ectopic and that all the joy and hope that those first days of finding out about a new pregnancy were never mine after that. These were dark days of lost hope. The initial few weeks of my subsequent 3 pregnancies were harrowing. The process of confirming a pregnancy is not ectopic takes about 1-2 weeks in beta hCG testing and ultrasounds. My first pregnancy was ended with a shot of Methotrexate, a chemotherapeutic agent which is abortifacient (I'll point out here that an ectopic pregnancy is nonviable), at 10 weeks. This was after 6 weeks of painful tests - several transvaginal ultrasounds, blood work every 48 hours, and an endometrial biopsy. My ob/gyn ordered a hysterosalpingogram (this is a test where they flush the fallopian tubes with iodine to determine if there's a blockage) which was supposed to be performed in September 2001. Because of 9/11, it was delayed - the radiologist was on Duane Street, just a few blocks from The World Trade Center. This was also a painful test, which I cried through while the radiologist demanded that I shut up or he would stop doing the test which I had been lead to believe was The Be All End All. I fired my OB after that. She basically said that the ectopic pregnancy was my fault - the result of an STD I had as a teenager, and then told me I was "morbidly depressed" and referred me to a Clinical Social Worker who was also her mother.

My current ob/gyn and I met in the emergency room when I had to have my left fallopian tube removed because my third pregnancy was also ectopic. He scolded a resident who made the same insinuation about STD and ectopic pregnancy and said that there was no way of knowing why the tube was damaged. He said it could've just as easily have been a birth defect that my tube was partially blocked. He also said that it was a mass of growing tissue that looked nothing like a baby. Four long years later, I finally felt absolved.

There is a church in New York City called The Church of the Holy Innocents which keeps a Book of Life that records the name of children who died unborn. They hold a mass once a month that includes a prayer for them and their families. My children's names are recorded as Uriel and Gabriel Stoll, both named for archangels. I'm not Catholic, but this was an important step in my healing.

3. You are an excellent mother, as your readers can plainly see. But I happen to know that you are also a woman of many other talents, including acting and singing. Just curious......I once saw an award-winning stage production of Arthur Miller's Playing For Time. I could be wrong....but wasn't that YOU on stage? I'm sure your readers would love to know a little more. Do you miss being in the spotlight?

Yes, that was my senior year of high school. I played the lead, Fania Fenelon. I won Best Actress in a statewide competition. I also played the title role in Harold and Maude my sophomore year. I went to Emerson with the ambition of continuing to act and realized that I lacked the desire to pursue it further. The actors were like spoiled children, completely obsessed with their weight and appearance. I had a classmate whose skin was orange because she restricted her diet to bags of baby carrots. Every time I met someone I thought could be a kindred spirit, we would smoke together and she'd admit that she was pissed off because Daddy thought college was more important than breast implants.

My first year in New York, I decided to go to a technical school to study computers and earned an A+ certification (systems and hardware) and worked toward becoming a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. After I received my first certification, the president of the school asked me if I wanted to teach the course, and I agreed to. It was a 3-hour class twice a week to adult students. It was the same high for me that performing on stage was - right to the bitter exhaustion after each class.

4. You were obviously brought up with strong family values. What is the single most important quality you'd like to instill in Lauren and Lindsay?

The main thing I reinforce with them now is the importance of keeping themselves safe and being kind and respectful to others. Almost everything can fit into that paradigm, but most importantly, our relationships with people. I hope for them that they develop a close relationship that is independent of mine with them. Some of that is modeled - they see the relationships I have with my siblings and that Alec has with his step-brother, and some of that has to do with the overall dynamic of the family unit.

5. What's your dad really like? (Shhhh....I want the dirt. Don't tell him. He never reads my blog anyway.) I had to ask!

My dad is utterly himself. He isn't the sort of man to do anything disingenuously - he is very upfront about his passions and his pet peeves. I love just hanging out with Dad because he always has something to say, and it's usually deliciously twisted in his sense of humor. And even when he says nothing, he'll shoot a knowing look across a room or roll his eyes and I'm laughing. The best, and most unexpected, result of blogging has been how it has enriched our relationship, and I think we both would've said it couldn't have been improved.

Thanks, Mimi, for some very thoughtful questions. I hope I've answered them thoroughly. And now, as for my part of continuing the meme, if you'd like to be interviewed, please let me know.