"Why did the crabby cross the road?"
"Why did the crabby cross the road?" I repeated.
"To see Silly Billy. Get it?" She ends every joke with Get it?? as though that's her flashing neon Applause sign.
"No. It's not funny."
"Not funny? Oh, ok. Thanks!" she replied brightly.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Life's a beach
"I'm thinking about taking the girls to the beach next Monday." Kat said, standing about 3 feet away from the picnic table.
"Pardon?" I said, leaning forward.
"I'm thinking," she raised her voice, both in volume and tone, "of taking Rachel and Tamara to the beach."
"Oh, that's nice." I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.
She looked at me expectantly. "So, do you and Lauren want to go?"
Trying hard to keep a straight face, because my first thought was Hell no. I replied, "What day again?"
"Well, I figured if it was a bunch of us it would be easy."
Easy for you, maybe. "Hmm."
"Well, think about it."
"Mmmkay."
So when I got home, there were 2 emails, both to the same group of about 10 parents whose names I didn't recognize. At the end of the email, as her signature, she wrote "Kat, Tamara's Mom." Tamara goes to parochial school, so my guess is that this is an outing for Tammi and her friends and Kat's inviting me so that Rachel will have someone to play with - which basically means that I'll spend my entire time there chasing 2 four-year-olds with my toddler in tow while the parents of the 8 year olds sit around and talk about the school all their kids go to.
I'm thinking I'll decline...
"Pardon?" I said, leaning forward.
"I'm thinking," she raised her voice, both in volume and tone, "of taking Rachel and Tamara to the beach."
"Oh, that's nice." I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.
She looked at me expectantly. "So, do you and Lauren want to go?"
Trying hard to keep a straight face, because my first thought was Hell no. I replied, "What day again?"
"Well, I figured if it was a bunch of us it would be easy."
Easy for you, maybe. "Hmm."
"Well, think about it."
"Mmmkay."
So when I got home, there were 2 emails, both to the same group of about 10 parents whose names I didn't recognize. At the end of the email, as her signature, she wrote "Kat, Tamara's Mom." Tamara goes to parochial school, so my guess is that this is an outing for Tammi and her friends and Kat's inviting me so that Rachel will have someone to play with - which basically means that I'll spend my entire time there chasing 2 four-year-olds with my toddler in tow while the parents of the 8 year olds sit around and talk about the school all their kids go to.
I'm thinking I'll decline...
Monday, May 28, 2007
A very long weekend
I'm tired, my friends. It was a very long weekend. A good weekend spent swimming at the pool, going into New York City to see dinosaurs at the Museum of Natural History and to play at Central Park, and enjoying backyard barbecue - burgers and beers. It was great to spend the weekend with our new friends. Between play dates and meeting at the park, the past month has really flown by.
I'm excited about spending the summer with Lauren. I will admit though that the idea of 10 weeks without that blissful 2 hour break in the middle of my days seems pretty daunting right now. I know that it's just going to be about establishing new routines. I'll miss this time though. It's really been a lot of fun.
I'm excited about spending the summer with Lauren. I will admit though that the idea of 10 weeks without that blissful 2 hour break in the middle of my days seems pretty daunting right now. I know that it's just going to be about establishing new routines. I'll miss this time though. It's really been a lot of fun.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Mimi Lenox interviews Epiphany Alone
Since you follow Mimi Writes, you know that several posts ago, she was interviewed by Linda. Part of this particular meme, a 5-question interview, is that the interviewee offer to interview readers who volunteer. I am pleased to report that Mimi is no longer on my list of Bloggers I Must Meet, and she is every bit as regal, charming, and endearing in person as she is on her blog.
1. You witnessed history in the making - the evolution of the nation's first and longest running tape radio station, WTIT. Did you ever actually hear the WTIT Tape Radio? Did you actually ever see any disc jockeys? Is it real? What's the scoop?
1. You witnessed history in the making - the evolution of the nation's first and longest running tape radio station, WTIT. Did you ever actually hear the WTIT Tape Radio? Did you actually ever see any disc jockeys? Is it real? What's the scoop?
I must admit that growing up, I just assumed everybody's dad was a tape radio DJ. Back in the late 80s and early 90s (which continued through the 90s, but my parents separated in 1991, and I left for college in the fall of 1992), there were weekly sessions. I believe I've met almost all of the disc jockeys. I did not call them by their handles, though. Except for Rock, who I believe was uncomfortable being called Mr Rolling. I'm on a scattered few tapes, and recorded a jingle for Dad which he still uses. So, yes, Mimi, there really is a WTIT Tape Radio.
2. You switched the English translation of your blog name to Italian recently - Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate...Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here. You seem to have a healthy balance of purgatory and paradise in your life. Why is your blog named after Dante's epic poem? What is the worst hell you've ever encountered and how did you make it through? (Yes, I realize that is yet again, 2 1/2 questions in one!)
Actually, the two are related. I've written at length that my first pregnancy was ectopic and that all the joy and hope that those first days of finding out about a new pregnancy were never mine after that. These were dark days of lost hope. The initial few weeks of my subsequent 3 pregnancies were harrowing. The process of confirming a pregnancy is not ectopic takes about 1-2 weeks in beta hCG testing and ultrasounds. My first pregnancy was ended with a shot of Methotrexate, a chemotherapeutic agent which is abortifacient (I'll point out here that an ectopic pregnancy is nonviable), at 10 weeks. This was after 6 weeks of painful tests - several transvaginal ultrasounds, blood work every 48 hours, and an endometrial biopsy. My ob/gyn ordered a hysterosalpingogram (this is a test where they flush the fallopian tubes with iodine to determine if there's a blockage) which was supposed to be performed in September 2001. Because of 9/11, it was delayed - the radiologist was on Duane Street, just a few blocks from The World Trade Center. This was also a painful test, which I cried through while the radiologist demanded that I shut up or he would stop doing the test which I had been lead to believe was The Be All End All. I fired my OB after that. She basically said that the ectopic pregnancy was my fault - the result of an STD I had as a teenager, and then told me I was "morbidly depressed" and referred me to a Clinical Social Worker who was also her mother.
My current ob/gyn and I met in the emergency room when I had to have my left fallopian tube removed because my third pregnancy was also ectopic. He scolded a resident who made the same insinuation about STD and ectopic pregnancy and said that there was no way of knowing why the tube was damaged. He said it could've just as easily have been a birth defect that my tube was partially blocked. He also said that it was a mass of growing tissue that looked nothing like a baby. Four long years later, I finally felt absolved.
There is a church in New York City called The Church of the Holy Innocents which keeps a Book of Life that records the name of children who died unborn. They hold a mass once a month that includes a prayer for them and their families. My children's names are recorded as Uriel and Gabriel Stoll, both named for archangels. I'm not Catholic, but this was an important step in my healing.
3. You are an excellent mother, as your readers can plainly see. But I happen to know that you are also a woman of many other talents, including acting and singing. Just curious......I once saw an award-winning stage production of Arthur Miller's Playing For Time. I could be wrong....but wasn't that YOU on stage? I'm sure your readers would love to know a little more. Do you miss being in the spotlight?
Yes, that was my senior year of high school. I played the lead, Fania Fenelon. I won Best Actress in a statewide competition. I also played the title role in Harold and Maude my sophomore year. I went to Emerson with the ambition of continuing to act and realized that I lacked the desire to pursue it further. The actors were like spoiled children, completely obsessed with their weight and appearance. I had a classmate whose skin was orange because she restricted her diet to bags of baby carrots. Every time I met someone I thought could be a kindred spirit, we would smoke together and she'd admit that she was pissed off because Daddy thought college was more important than breast implants.
My first year in New York, I decided to go to a technical school to study computers and earned an A+ certification (systems and hardware) and worked toward becoming a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. After I received my first certification, the president of the school asked me if I wanted to teach the course, and I agreed to. It was a 3-hour class twice a week to adult students. It was the same high for me that performing on stage was - right to the bitter exhaustion after each class.
4. You were obviously brought up with strong family values. What is the single most important quality you'd like to instill in Lauren and Lindsay?
The main thing I reinforce with them now is the importance of keeping themselves safe and being kind and respectful to others. Almost everything can fit into that paradigm, but most importantly, our relationships with people. I hope for them that they develop a close relationship that is independent of mine with them. Some of that is modeled - they see the relationships I have with my siblings and that Alec has with his step-brother, and some of that has to do with the overall dynamic of the family unit.
5. What's your dad really like? (Shhhh....I want the dirt. Don't tell him. He never reads my blog anyway.) I had to ask!
My dad is utterly himself. He isn't the sort of man to do anything disingenuously - he is very upfront about his passions and his pet peeves. I love just hanging out with Dad because he always has something to say, and it's usually deliciously twisted in his sense of humor. And even when he says nothing, he'll shoot a knowing look across a room or roll his eyes and I'm laughing. The best, and most unexpected, result of blogging has been how it has enriched our relationship, and I think we both would've said it couldn't have been improved.
Thanks, Mimi, for some very thoughtful questions. I hope I've answered them thoroughly. And now, as for my part of continuing the meme, if you'd like to be interviewed, please let me know.
My dad is utterly himself. He isn't the sort of man to do anything disingenuously - he is very upfront about his passions and his pet peeves. I love just hanging out with Dad because he always has something to say, and it's usually deliciously twisted in his sense of humor. And even when he says nothing, he'll shoot a knowing look across a room or roll his eyes and I'm laughing. The best, and most unexpected, result of blogging has been how it has enriched our relationship, and I think we both would've said it couldn't have been improved.
Thanks, Mimi, for some very thoughtful questions. I hope I've answered them thoroughly. And now, as for my part of continuing the meme, if you'd like to be interviewed, please let me know.
Mommy Driveby
I joined the municipal pool in a neighboring town for the summer. I had not planned well for the first day out there and spent more of the day out in the hot sun than was reasonable. Fortunately, the pool has a concession stand. Lauren chose a hot dog and I ordered a tuna melt and a bottle of water to share. Both sandwiches came with a bag of chips and a pickle.
We sat at a picnic table with our friends, and I fed Lindsay bite-sized pieces of the tuna melt. She is a big fan of grilled cheese, so she ate most of my sandwich, a few chips, and about half of the pickle spear.
She was sitting next to a baby, also eating his lunch in his stroller. He was quite a bit bigger than Lindsay, and struggling to eat baby food off of a spoon offered by his dad. I would guess he was probably about 8 or 9 months old. Lindsay grinned when they made eye contact and waved her food-filled fist at him.
The mom gasped. "Oh my God...are you feeding your baby a cheeseburger?"
"No. It's a tuna melt." I replied. "She likes cheeseburgers too though."
She blinked at me. "How old is your baby?" She demanded.
"Lindsay is just over a year." I replied.
She sighed in relief. "Oh. I thought they were the same age..."
They left very soon after that.
We sat at a picnic table with our friends, and I fed Lindsay bite-sized pieces of the tuna melt. She is a big fan of grilled cheese, so she ate most of my sandwich, a few chips, and about half of the pickle spear.
She was sitting next to a baby, also eating his lunch in his stroller. He was quite a bit bigger than Lindsay, and struggling to eat baby food off of a spoon offered by his dad. I would guess he was probably about 8 or 9 months old. Lindsay grinned when they made eye contact and waved her food-filled fist at him.
The mom gasped. "Oh my God...are you feeding your baby a cheeseburger?"
"No. It's a tuna melt." I replied. "She likes cheeseburgers too though."
She blinked at me. "How old is your baby?" She demanded.
"Lindsay is just over a year." I replied.
She sighed in relief. "Oh. I thought they were the same age..."
They left very soon after that.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Stealing memes
1. Your Middle Name: Anne. She was my grandfather's mother, and died in 1983. I remember what she looked like, and visiting her in a nursing home, but sadly, I don't really have any memories of her.
2. Age: 32.
3. Single or Taken: Taken. Alec and I have been together 14 years, and married for 11 of them.
4. Favorite Movie: Casablanca. I've seen it a dozen times and can recite most of it.
5. Favorite Song or Album: Wish You Were Here. When I was in high school, I used to put that cassette in my tape deck, the top down on my convertible and drive through the winding roads in Bloomfield and Avon.
6. Favorite Band/Artist: Colin Hay. There's something very open and approachable about his style that makes it sound like he's singing just for you.
7. Dirty or Clean: Fastidiously clean.
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Neither.
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ? We don't know each other. Dad stole your meme, and I stole it from him.
10. What's your philosophy on life?
To live well, to love completely, and to regret nothing.
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? Yes.
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? I would. I might keep a secret from you simply not to piss you off.
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
This meme.
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
I like reading fluffy magazines like Glamour, Allure, and Marie Claire. I used to restrict this reading to airplanes during travel, but now I subscribe to them.
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
I sing well.
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
A staggering amount of money that would extract all of our family members, including cousin Willie who doesn't like parties and drives cars, from debt and equip them in homes. We'd spend most of our time partying on a cruise ship. To try all those silly ideas that occur randomly at 3 AM.
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
No.
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
About 6 years ago, Alec and I went to Belize, and rode horses through the rain forest. That was truly amazing.
19. What is your big weakness?
I have a tendency of exaggerating.
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
I don't know you, but I'm going to go with yes.
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
Writing. I did an independent study my junior year in short story writing, which had been a great interest of mine from the time I was 10.
22. Describe your accent.
I grew up in central Connecticut, and we have an odd blend of New England vowel blending and New York nasality. I've lived in Wisconsin, Boston, New York, and now in Jersey, so there's some assimilating that happens when you move. I've never managed to rid myself of New England regionalisms like how we pronounce aunt (ahnt) and I still say elastic for rubber band and barrel for trash can even though people here don't know what the heck I'm talking about.
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
You're perfect.
24. What do you wear to sleep?
Ah. This is boring. A t-shirt and pajama bottoms.
25. Trousers or skirts?
I wear both, but not at the same time.
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
Alcohol.
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Smoke cigarettes. Lots of them.
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
No way, man. You've got to steal another meme.
2. Age: 32.
3. Single or Taken: Taken. Alec and I have been together 14 years, and married for 11 of them.
4. Favorite Movie: Casablanca. I've seen it a dozen times and can recite most of it.
5. Favorite Song or Album: Wish You Were Here. When I was in high school, I used to put that cassette in my tape deck, the top down on my convertible and drive through the winding roads in Bloomfield and Avon.
6. Favorite Band/Artist: Colin Hay. There's something very open and approachable about his style that makes it sound like he's singing just for you.
7. Dirty or Clean: Fastidiously clean.
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Neither.
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ? We don't know each other. Dad stole your meme, and I stole it from him.
10. What's your philosophy on life?
To live well, to love completely, and to regret nothing.
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? Yes.
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? I would. I might keep a secret from you simply not to piss you off.
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
This meme.
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
I like reading fluffy magazines like Glamour, Allure, and Marie Claire. I used to restrict this reading to airplanes during travel, but now I subscribe to them.
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
I sing well.
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
A staggering amount of money that would extract all of our family members, including cousin Willie who doesn't like parties and drives cars, from debt and equip them in homes. We'd spend most of our time partying on a cruise ship. To try all those silly ideas that occur randomly at 3 AM.
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
No.
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
About 6 years ago, Alec and I went to Belize, and rode horses through the rain forest. That was truly amazing.
19. What is your big weakness?
I have a tendency of exaggerating.
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
I don't know you, but I'm going to go with yes.
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
Writing. I did an independent study my junior year in short story writing, which had been a great interest of mine from the time I was 10.
22. Describe your accent.
I grew up in central Connecticut, and we have an odd blend of New England vowel blending and New York nasality. I've lived in Wisconsin, Boston, New York, and now in Jersey, so there's some assimilating that happens when you move. I've never managed to rid myself of New England regionalisms like how we pronounce aunt (ahnt) and I still say elastic for rubber band and barrel for trash can even though people here don't know what the heck I'm talking about.
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
You're perfect.
24. What do you wear to sleep?
Ah. This is boring. A t-shirt and pajama bottoms.
25. Trousers or skirts?
I wear both, but not at the same time.
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
Alcohol.
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Smoke cigarettes. Lots of them.
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
No way, man. You've got to steal another meme.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
For Kim
"At my birthday, will you bring in treats for the class?" Lauren asked.
"Yep," I said. "One of the things we're talking about at the meetings we go to while you're at school is what sort of things can be brought in for birthday parties..."
"Oh," she said. "Like cupcakes?"
I stifled a snicker. "What we've been talking about is that in September, there won't be parties with cake or candy - and what are other things we might have to celebrate happy events."
"Oh," she looked wary. "No cupcakes?"
"Not at school. But that's OK. We can have cupcakes at your party at home. It just means we have to be a bit creative about how we celebrate at school."
"Oh ok," she said. "Like how?"
"Well, since your birthday is in September, we could go to the orchard and pick apples for your birthday, and bring them in for your class."
"Really? We could pick them ourselves?"
"Why not?"
"Huh," she replied.
This morning...
"Mom, I can't wait to go pick apples for my class birthday party. That's going to be so much fun."
It would seem the symbol doesn't have to be a cupcake...
"Yep," I said. "One of the things we're talking about at the meetings we go to while you're at school is what sort of things can be brought in for birthday parties..."
"Oh," she said. "Like cupcakes?"
I stifled a snicker. "What we've been talking about is that in September, there won't be parties with cake or candy - and what are other things we might have to celebrate happy events."
"Oh," she looked wary. "No cupcakes?"
"Not at school. But that's OK. We can have cupcakes at your party at home. It just means we have to be a bit creative about how we celebrate at school."
"Oh ok," she said. "Like how?"
"Well, since your birthday is in September, we could go to the orchard and pick apples for your birthday, and bring them in for your class."
"Really? We could pick them ourselves?"
"Why not?"
"Huh," she replied.
This morning...
"Mom, I can't wait to go pick apples for my class birthday party. That's going to be so much fun."
It would seem the symbol doesn't have to be a cupcake...
Small victories
We have a lot of intimate conversations during bath time. It's a quiet time at the end of the day. It's naked time, which makes for well-timed conversations about privacy. Our recent conversations have been about how time on the toilet is private. This is mostly to encourage some good behaviors like door closing, but also to curtail access for inappropriate behavior among peers to occur.
During one of our bath time sessions, Lauren said, "Nanny thinks I am a baby."
"Hmm," I said thoughtfully. "What makes you say that?"
"She comes in the potty with me. I don't need help in the potty any more."
"Oh. I think maybe she doesn't understand that. It's been a while since you've spent time together. Do you want to tell her you don't need help?"
She shook her head.
"Do you want me or Daddy to tell her that you don't need help?"
She nodded.
"Ok. We will tell her that." I gave her a hug. "Thanks for letting me know. I will take care of it."
It was Alec who relayed this message, precisely as it was said to us: Lauren said she doesn't need help in the bathroom.
My family and friends, if we relay this message, please understand that it doesn't mean we're calling out your bad behavior, because there is certainly a time when kids do need help. Quite honestly, it's not at all about you. But we can't spare your feelings and not say anything because the lesson we're trying to teach is that it's her body.
I'm very proud of Lauren. These are tough lessons, and fraught with plenty of pretty scary ideas.
During one of our bath time sessions, Lauren said, "Nanny thinks I am a baby."
"Hmm," I said thoughtfully. "What makes you say that?"
"She comes in the potty with me. I don't need help in the potty any more."
"Oh. I think maybe she doesn't understand that. It's been a while since you've spent time together. Do you want to tell her you don't need help?"
She shook her head.
"Do you want me or Daddy to tell her that you don't need help?"
She nodded.
"Ok. We will tell her that." I gave her a hug. "Thanks for letting me know. I will take care of it."
It was Alec who relayed this message, precisely as it was said to us: Lauren said she doesn't need help in the bathroom.
My family and friends, if we relay this message, please understand that it doesn't mean we're calling out your bad behavior, because there is certainly a time when kids do need help. Quite honestly, it's not at all about you. But we can't spare your feelings and not say anything because the lesson we're trying to teach is that it's her body.
I'm very proud of Lauren. These are tough lessons, and fraught with plenty of pretty scary ideas.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Happy birthday, Lindsay
A year ago today, you were born kicking and screaming.It's equally hard for me to believe that 365 days have passed, as it is that you haven't just always been here. My very serious observer, perched on my hip, seems to take it all in. Now, occasionally, you offer a throaty laugh, or an emphatic babble.
You're still an enigma wrapped in a riddle for me. You have an instant attachment to all things knit, prefer to be placed in your crib with no ceremony at nap and bed times, and can't stand to be changed. From our early first days at home, you loved to sleep, and still do. Our morning nap has been eliminated for longer overnight sleep times - sometimes you sleep from 8 PM to 10 AM.
Lately, you've been learning by leaps and bounds. You've said "Hi there" and "bye!", "Mama", "Dada", and "down". You know all the hand gestures for Itsy Bitsy Spider, and when to clap for When You're Happy and You Know It. You've stood up a few times, but haven't attempted a step yet. I imagine, as with everything else, this will happen entirely on your schedule. And you'll give me that look you always do that says, "I could always do this. I just decided to now."
I love you, Lindsay. Happy birthday!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
God and His sense of humor
I spoke to either my mother or my grandmother (my mother's mother) on Monday. I may have actually spoken to both of them. Our conversations were similar about having an outdoor party:
By Wednesday, the forecast for Saturday was rain all day. Rain ALL day. Thirty-some odd people coming over...
How was I going to solve this? I couldn't fit 30 people in my house.
On Thursday, I suddenly had this brainstorm that we could clear all the stored stuff out of our unused sunroom and put the two outdoor tables and about a dozen chairs in there. It was a daunting task. We've never used the sunroom as long as we've lived here, so the accumulated discarded toys, garage sale junk, and presents that haven't yet been re-gifted. I spent Thursday night clearing space in the kitchen, pantry, and cleaning the sunroom. All of Friday cleaning the sunroom. Alec also spent a good deal of time out there. We hemmed and hawed about the rainy forecasts all week that had yielded cloudy days and sun at times and ultimately decided at 9 PM that bringing the tables in this morning would be a lot of work. Whatever we were doing, we had to get it done before we went to bed.
We brought in 2 tables and about a dozen chairs, outfitted the tables with plastic cloths, blew up and hung balloons. I awoke at 6 AM and went to the kitchen in my jammies to make salads, and this is what our day looks like:
So now what?
I'm thinking I will set up the lone table in the garage outside with our cushioned chairs. We already had set this table up for the smokers in our clan...
We probably have about 9 chairs remaining outside.
Yeah, I hear you laughing...
Me: Well, I just hope it doesn't rain...I'm not good at the whole blind faith thing. Maybe that's just not having been raised Catholic as my mother was, and her mother before her. Or maybe it's my personality. I always have to have an emergency backup plan. Then, I feel much better.
Her: Just don't even think about it.
By Wednesday, the forecast for Saturday was rain all day. Rain ALL day. Thirty-some odd people coming over...
How was I going to solve this? I couldn't fit 30 people in my house.
On Thursday, I suddenly had this brainstorm that we could clear all the stored stuff out of our unused sunroom and put the two outdoor tables and about a dozen chairs in there. It was a daunting task. We've never used the sunroom as long as we've lived here, so the accumulated discarded toys, garage sale junk, and presents that haven't yet been re-gifted. I spent Thursday night clearing space in the kitchen, pantry, and cleaning the sunroom. All of Friday cleaning the sunroom. Alec also spent a good deal of time out there. We hemmed and hawed about the rainy forecasts all week that had yielded cloudy days and sun at times and ultimately decided at 9 PM that bringing the tables in this morning would be a lot of work. Whatever we were doing, we had to get it done before we went to bed.
We brought in 2 tables and about a dozen chairs, outfitted the tables with plastic cloths, blew up and hung balloons. I awoke at 6 AM and went to the kitchen in my jammies to make salads, and this is what our day looks like:
So now what?I'm thinking I will set up the lone table in the garage outside with our cushioned chairs. We already had set this table up for the smokers in our clan...
We probably have about 9 chairs remaining outside.Yeah, I hear you laughing...
Friday, May 18, 2007
Creepy
We're having a party tomorrow for Lindsay's first birthday, so I had some errands to run after I picked Lauren up from a playdate. We had 2 other stops before the pharmacy to buy some alcohol. I had told Lauren if she behaved, she could choose a treat, but as soon as we got there, she was running up and down the aisles. After 4 warnings, I declared there wouldn't be a treat. So Lauren was sulking, and I was annoyed and a little distracted.
As we turned the corner, a man stopped me. He was wearing an odd uniform, which looked a little like a postman's uniform, but one piece with a collared shirt and shorts. He had the shirt buttoned up all the way. He stopped me and asked if he could show Lauren his bunny.
"I'm sorry." I replied. "I'm in a hurry..."
As I turned with the stroller, I realized he was ignoring me and had unbuttoned his shirt and drew a dwarf rabbit, brown and fluffy with floppy ears and bug eyes out of his shirt. He knelt down to show Lauren.
"May I pet him?" Lauren asked, oohing and ahhing.
He grinned at me. "I like to show them my bunny. I work at the barber shop across the street and..."
"Thank you. But as I said, we're in a very big hurry..."
At this point, the cashier began demanding, "Next customer, please. Next customer, please! Uhh...next customer?"
"Just a moment, please," I replied.
"Next customer?"
"And Lauren, you go to the counter first." I said, putting myself between the man and my kids.
"I just wanted to show her the bunny..."
"Have a good evening," I said quickly. As I turned to the cashier, I realized he had rushed out of there.
We got into our car, and I made a point of unlocking one door at a time, still feeling pretty uneasy.
"Lauren," I said. "I would like to talk about the stranger we just saw in that store because I did not get a good feeling about him."
"He had a very cute bunny," she said simply. "I liked the bunny."
"Did you hear that he asked first if he could show you the bunny?"
"Yes."
"And what did I say?"
"You said 'No'," she replied.
"People who don't listen to you when you say 'No' aren't to be trusted. Next time, if someone asks if they can do something and I say 'No', that's the end of it. You come around to my other side."
"Alright." she said, sounding exasperated.
"Alright," I said.
As we turned the corner, a man stopped me. He was wearing an odd uniform, which looked a little like a postman's uniform, but one piece with a collared shirt and shorts. He had the shirt buttoned up all the way. He stopped me and asked if he could show Lauren his bunny.
"I'm sorry." I replied. "I'm in a hurry..."
As I turned with the stroller, I realized he was ignoring me and had unbuttoned his shirt and drew a dwarf rabbit, brown and fluffy with floppy ears and bug eyes out of his shirt. He knelt down to show Lauren.
"May I pet him?" Lauren asked, oohing and ahhing.
He grinned at me. "I like to show them my bunny. I work at the barber shop across the street and..."
"Thank you. But as I said, we're in a very big hurry..."
At this point, the cashier began demanding, "Next customer, please. Next customer, please! Uhh...next customer?"
"Just a moment, please," I replied.
"Next customer?"
"And Lauren, you go to the counter first." I said, putting myself between the man and my kids.
"I just wanted to show her the bunny..."
"Have a good evening," I said quickly. As I turned to the cashier, I realized he had rushed out of there.
We got into our car, and I made a point of unlocking one door at a time, still feeling pretty uneasy.
"Lauren," I said. "I would like to talk about the stranger we just saw in that store because I did not get a good feeling about him."
"He had a very cute bunny," she said simply. "I liked the bunny."
"Did you hear that he asked first if he could show you the bunny?"
"Yes."
"And what did I say?"
"You said 'No'," she replied.
"People who don't listen to you when you say 'No' aren't to be trusted. Next time, if someone asks if they can do something and I say 'No', that's the end of it. You come around to my other side."
"Alright." she said, sounding exasperated.
"Alright," I said.
Soliloquy
"I just am trying to find the right words...to say goodbye...to my dear friend." She puts her hands to her throat as if the words have stuck there, flutters her eyelashes, and tosses her head back. "It is just so hard for me to say goodbye, you see."
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Commenting on the comments
I love and appreciate the comments - I've had less internet time recently. I like blogs that respond to them, so I've tried to...and it's one of those "next rainy day" things for me. But I wanted to address this one:
There's backlash coming from every direction about weight. I'm more sensitive to it now, admittedly. I can count on my hand the number of women I've had conversations with who felt good about the way they look. There are definitely some worse than others who feel it necessary to make comments during every meal about how unhappy they are with themselves. It's never been subtle with the women in my family. Those sort of comments within the family have a lot more power to damage the perception of a girl forming opinions about herself and her body than Lindsay Lohan or Kate Moss does.
I can't change the world. I can only change me, so that's what I am doing.
I like your self-esteem cure, but I think the trouble begins with Madison Avenue and will only end when advertisements respect and applaud people of all sizes.... Hawaii is notorious for being 'size-blind' when it comes to respect and sexiness....The fat folks must be rich in order to have so much to eat, and therefore are highly regarded....muddaAdvertisers want us to feel less than we are, or we'd not need their product - whether that's a special toothpaste or the right box of hair color. They encourage us toward an impossible goal of eternal youth where we can always have pearly white teeth, shiny hair, and pharmaceutically-enhanced sex. People with healthy self esteem - and I'm conceptualizing because this is something I battle with - don't invest themselves in what other people think. They love themselves as they are, and surround themselves with people who are like-minded.
There's backlash coming from every direction about weight. I'm more sensitive to it now, admittedly. I can count on my hand the number of women I've had conversations with who felt good about the way they look. There are definitely some worse than others who feel it necessary to make comments during every meal about how unhappy they are with themselves. It's never been subtle with the women in my family. Those sort of comments within the family have a lot more power to damage the perception of a girl forming opinions about herself and her body than Lindsay Lohan or Kate Moss does.
I can't change the world. I can only change me, so that's what I am doing.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Impatience
"What are those pretty little flowers over there? Pansies?" Lauren asked.
"No, they're impatiens."
"Oh. Like the ones I bought you for Mother's Day?"
"The same. These are just a different color."
"I'm impatient." she announced.
"You are?"
"Yes. I just can't wait until we get to the school so we can have our picnic!"
"Good usage." I replied.
"Nice flowers." she returned.
"No, they're impatiens."
"Oh. Like the ones I bought you for Mother's Day?"
"The same. These are just a different color."
"I'm impatient." she announced.
"You are?"
"Yes. I just can't wait until we get to the school so we can have our picnic!"
"Good usage." I replied.
"Nice flowers." she returned.
Respect
I've been reflecting on what Kat said and also something said by a playmate of Lauren's about bad food that would make one fat. You probably remember I wrote this post called Weighty Issues about scare-tactic memos from the school administration quoting statistics on childhood obesity. It sets me off because there are many positive ways to focus on encouraging our kids to make healthy choices - eat foods that nourish them and get plenty of sleep and exercise - without making food a demon.
Why are eating disorders so prevalent? I've read studies recently that correlate the incidence of disordered thinking with low self-esteem. It's an oversimplification, but maybe it's a starting point, because what's a better reason for making sure we eat foods that nourish us, get plenty of sleep, and exercise? Self-respect. It seems so many of the issues we will eventually have to broach with our kids - alcohol, drugs, sex - boil down to making choices that show respect for ourselves and others. I have that niggling feeling that starting out with "candy is going to harm you" with my five-year-old could lead to mistrust when I say "cocaine will harm you" to her when she's eleven.
I'm sure I don't have any answers yet. This is one of those moments for me that I realize I have so much to learn. How do I get the result of raising two women who take excellent care of themselves, and have fulfilling relationships with partners who respect them?
Why are eating disorders so prevalent? I've read studies recently that correlate the incidence of disordered thinking with low self-esteem. It's an oversimplification, but maybe it's a starting point, because what's a better reason for making sure we eat foods that nourish us, get plenty of sleep, and exercise? Self-respect. It seems so many of the issues we will eventually have to broach with our kids - alcohol, drugs, sex - boil down to making choices that show respect for ourselves and others. I have that niggling feeling that starting out with "candy is going to harm you" with my five-year-old could lead to mistrust when I say "cocaine will harm you" to her when she's eleven.
I'm sure I don't have any answers yet. This is one of those moments for me that I realize I have so much to learn. How do I get the result of raising two women who take excellent care of themselves, and have fulfilling relationships with partners who respect them?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The Ninety-five percent
When I left for college, the advice my dad gave me was this:
"Ninety-five percent of all people are assholes. Try to keep that in mind as you interact with them."
This, I believe, was the advice his dad also gave him.
My neighbor Jorge was out in his yard this morning. Jorge's wife Bette is quite possibly the most annoying person ever. She has one of those loud, prattling, Long Island voices. Jorge was in the yard with what appeared to be most of his furniture. I didn't ask. I didn't really want to know why. So I smiled and said, "Hi," and picked up our pace a little to appear in a hurry.
"He's getting big."
"She is almost one." I said.
"Oh. She. You have two girls?"
"Yes."
"Better luck next time."
I laughed at him. What an amazing large ass you are, I thought, but replied, "See you later, Jorge."
When I arrived at school, Kat was there with Rachel. Lauren and Rachel played while Kat told me all about Rachel's percentiles at her doctor's visit.
We're still comparing percentiles? "How interesting." I replied, flatly.
"She went from the 70th percentile to the 50th percentile in weight."
"Hmm." I nodded.
"It's nice that she's thinning out finally, I thought. I mean, We were worried. And she eats nothing! And she's afraid of getting on the scale!"
Why the Hell would a five-year-old care about getting on the scale? "Lauren mostly likes to jump on the scale." I replied. Mercifully, this answer, combined with other parents arrivals led to a subject change.
"Ninety-five percent of all people are assholes. Try to keep that in mind as you interact with them."
This, I believe, was the advice his dad also gave him.
My neighbor Jorge was out in his yard this morning. Jorge's wife Bette is quite possibly the most annoying person ever. She has one of those loud, prattling, Long Island voices. Jorge was in the yard with what appeared to be most of his furniture. I didn't ask. I didn't really want to know why. So I smiled and said, "Hi," and picked up our pace a little to appear in a hurry.
"He's getting big."
"She is almost one." I said.
"Oh. She. You have two girls?"
"Yes."
"Better luck next time."
I laughed at him. What an amazing large ass you are, I thought, but replied, "See you later, Jorge."
When I arrived at school, Kat was there with Rachel. Lauren and Rachel played while Kat told me all about Rachel's percentiles at her doctor's visit.
We're still comparing percentiles? "How interesting." I replied, flatly.
"She went from the 70th percentile to the 50th percentile in weight."
"Hmm." I nodded.
"It's nice that she's thinning out finally, I thought. I mean, We were worried. And she eats nothing! And she's afraid of getting on the scale!"
Why the Hell would a five-year-old care about getting on the scale? "Lauren mostly likes to jump on the scale." I replied. Mercifully, this answer, combined with other parents arrivals led to a subject change.
Monday, May 14, 2007
First argument
Lindsay announced, "Dadadadada!"
"Daddy's at work, Lindsay. That's Mama."
"Dadadadada!"
"No," Lauren said slowly, "Ma-ma"
"Da-da," Lindsay replied, slowly.
"Daddy's at work, Lindsay. That's Mama."
"Dadadadada!"
"No," Lauren said slowly, "Ma-ma"
"Da-da," Lindsay replied, slowly.
Hooray for the thieves
I've stolen yet another meme from Dad.
1. Introduce yourself…
Hi, I'm Epiphany Alone.
2. It’s Wednesday at noon, where are you usually?
The girls and I are having a picnic in front of Lauren's school - cream cheese and grape jelly sandwiches, carrot sticks, and apples.
3. What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
All free and clear. It has no fragrance or dye because of Lauren's allergies. I miss clean laundry smell.
4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now?
There are about a half dozen mini bottles from various hotels: citrus and lavender from The Hyatt, cucumber and wheat grass from Hard Rock, and honey and barley from The Marriott.
5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?
Yes. We didn't have cable in Boston, so Alec used to watch Red Sox games at the Irish bar downstairs that had $1.50 draught beer. I worked quite late those days, so usually I'd have a beer, the game would end, and we'd head upstairs.
6. What countries have you been to?
Canada, Mexico, England, Ireland, France, Belgium, Belize, and Honduras.
7. Do you watch MTV anymore?
No.
8. What do you think about Oprah?
I don't.
9. What color are your bed sheets?
I have cream-colored sheets.
10. You need a new pair of jeans: what store do you go to first?
I usually go somewhere that sells clothes.
11. Did you ever watch The O.C.?
No.
12. What kind of car do you drive?
I drive a Chevy Malibu Maxx. It's my fourth Chevy and my third Malibu.
13. Honestly, is that car insured?
That car is insured to the teeth, it's a lease.
14. Do you like sushi?
I love sushi. It was the thing I most missed pregnant with Lindsay. My OB was adamant about the risk of toxmoplasmosis from raw fish.
15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave?
I've been to both.
16. Did your parents spoil you growing up?
I don't think so, but we didn't want for much growing up.
17. Do you like roller coasters?
I love them.
18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to?
Glamour, Lucky, Allure, Parents, American Baby, and Playboy all show up at the house. I occasionally pick up Marie Claire at the grocery store.
ETA: We also subscribe to Make Magazine and Consumer Reports.
19. Do you remember the WB show Popular?
No. I don't think I ever watched anything on the WB.
20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar?
I don't believe I've ever actually been to a dance club.
ETA: I went to a dance club for Sybil's birthday some years ago, but I was too drunk to remember this.
21. What do you think about gay marriage?
I like Dad's answer, that it should be a non-issue - everyone should have the same rights.
22. Who do you think will be the next president?
Excuse me while I get out my Magic 8 Ball. Hmm. It says, "Ask me later."
23. Are you registered to vote?
Yes.
24. Do you own an iPod?
I have a iPod Shuffle, which was a present from my brother and sister-in-law for being in their wedding.
25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff?
I have very little product. I have a small box of cosmetics. Otherwise, I have a foaming face wash, day (with SPF) and night moisturizer.
26. What do you normally smell like?
I wear a few different scents. Pleasures. Chanel Allure and Chance. Miracle. I have a couple of light vanilla scents that Lauren likes to wear (one of them is called Dessert). I probably also smell like sunscreen, because I wear a lot of it.
27. Do you like Carrie Underwood?
What does she say about me?
28. Been to “The Vegas”?
Does anyone actually say The Vegas? Yes, but I was working a meeting...the most difficult one, which says something because it was one I wasn't lead on. We were in Las Vegas for 3 days (a 2-day investigator meeting) and worked 2-20 hour days. Michelle and I had a policy of playing as hard as we worked at the end of a meeting. The last night, after working a 16-hour day, we were out until 5 AM playing at Mandalay Bay. The funniest thing that happened was that our coworker Becky stopped a cute guy in the bar and asked him if he would marry Michelle.
29. How far away do you live from your parents?
About 3 hours.
30. Are you happy with your job?
Yes.
31. Where do you work and what do you do there?
I work at home. I am a technology consultant, which means I tell people what to do with their Web sites and give advice on other computer-related matters.
32. What did you get in the mail today?
Nothing, it was Sunday.
33. How do you like your steak cooked?
Medium rare.
34. Britney Spears…ready to have a nervous break down or just having fun?
She's definitely not having fun. I don't know what her diagnosis is, I've read some bloggers say that she's suffering from postpartum depression, and others say she is alcoholic. It seems to me that she needs help.
35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell?
I've never eaten at Taco Bell.
36. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind?
We had an exchange student from France when I was 14, and it was her favorite movie. She was so excited to watch it because she'd never actually heard what Vivian Leigh and Cary Grant sounded like.
ETA: Mudda (Alec's mom) astutely points out it was Clark Gable. Cecile also had an obsession with Cary Grant.
37. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore?
No.
38. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie?
I never saw it.
39. Are surveys like the cocaine of myspace?
No.
40. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)?
I'm fond of the beach.
41. What is your favorite candle scent?
Whatever my brother James bought me for Christmas. It's Christmas Cookie or vanilla or something like that...
42. Do you believe places can really be haunted?
Yes.
43. Do you smoke cigarettes?
Very rarely. I'm getting closer to saying I'm an ex-smoker because the times are few and far between.
44. Have you ever been to NYC or LA?
Yes.
45. How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport?
None.
46. Do you think 50 questions is enough?
Enough for what?
47. Are you currently planning a trip?
We're going to San Diego in August to visit my brother James.
48. Is Ryan Seacrest gay?
I don't care.
49. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills?
No.
50. What do you think about space travel?
Are you planning a trip?
1. Introduce yourself…
Hi, I'm Epiphany Alone.
2. It’s Wednesday at noon, where are you usually?
The girls and I are having a picnic in front of Lauren's school - cream cheese and grape jelly sandwiches, carrot sticks, and apples.
3. What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
All free and clear. It has no fragrance or dye because of Lauren's allergies. I miss clean laundry smell.
4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now?
There are about a half dozen mini bottles from various hotels: citrus and lavender from The Hyatt, cucumber and wheat grass from Hard Rock, and honey and barley from The Marriott.
5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?
Yes. We didn't have cable in Boston, so Alec used to watch Red Sox games at the Irish bar downstairs that had $1.50 draught beer. I worked quite late those days, so usually I'd have a beer, the game would end, and we'd head upstairs.
6. What countries have you been to?
Canada, Mexico, England, Ireland, France, Belgium, Belize, and Honduras.
7. Do you watch MTV anymore?
No.
8. What do you think about Oprah?
I don't.
9. What color are your bed sheets?
I have cream-colored sheets.
10. You need a new pair of jeans: what store do you go to first?
I usually go somewhere that sells clothes.
11. Did you ever watch The O.C.?
No.
12. What kind of car do you drive?
I drive a Chevy Malibu Maxx. It's my fourth Chevy and my third Malibu.
13. Honestly, is that car insured?
That car is insured to the teeth, it's a lease.
14. Do you like sushi?
I love sushi. It was the thing I most missed pregnant with Lindsay. My OB was adamant about the risk of toxmoplasmosis from raw fish.
15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave?
I've been to both.
16. Did your parents spoil you growing up?
I don't think so, but we didn't want for much growing up.
17. Do you like roller coasters?
I love them.
18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to?
Glamour, Lucky, Allure, Parents, American Baby, and Playboy all show up at the house. I occasionally pick up Marie Claire at the grocery store.
ETA: We also subscribe to Make Magazine and Consumer Reports.
19. Do you remember the WB show Popular?
No. I don't think I ever watched anything on the WB.
20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar?
I don't believe I've ever actually been to a dance club.
ETA: I went to a dance club for Sybil's birthday some years ago, but I was too drunk to remember this.
21. What do you think about gay marriage?
I like Dad's answer, that it should be a non-issue - everyone should have the same rights.
22. Who do you think will be the next president?
Excuse me while I get out my Magic 8 Ball. Hmm. It says, "Ask me later."
23. Are you registered to vote?
Yes.
24. Do you own an iPod?
I have a iPod Shuffle, which was a present from my brother and sister-in-law for being in their wedding.
25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff?
I have very little product. I have a small box of cosmetics. Otherwise, I have a foaming face wash, day (with SPF) and night moisturizer.
26. What do you normally smell like?
I wear a few different scents. Pleasures. Chanel Allure and Chance. Miracle. I have a couple of light vanilla scents that Lauren likes to wear (one of them is called Dessert). I probably also smell like sunscreen, because I wear a lot of it.
27. Do you like Carrie Underwood?
What does she say about me?
28. Been to “The Vegas”?
Does anyone actually say The Vegas? Yes, but I was working a meeting...the most difficult one, which says something because it was one I wasn't lead on. We were in Las Vegas for 3 days (a 2-day investigator meeting) and worked 2-20 hour days. Michelle and I had a policy of playing as hard as we worked at the end of a meeting. The last night, after working a 16-hour day, we were out until 5 AM playing at Mandalay Bay. The funniest thing that happened was that our coworker Becky stopped a cute guy in the bar and asked him if he would marry Michelle.
29. How far away do you live from your parents?
About 3 hours.
30. Are you happy with your job?
Yes.
31. Where do you work and what do you do there?
I work at home. I am a technology consultant, which means I tell people what to do with their Web sites and give advice on other computer-related matters.
32. What did you get in the mail today?
Nothing, it was Sunday.
33. How do you like your steak cooked?
Medium rare.
34. Britney Spears…ready to have a nervous break down or just having fun?
She's definitely not having fun. I don't know what her diagnosis is, I've read some bloggers say that she's suffering from postpartum depression, and others say she is alcoholic. It seems to me that she needs help.
35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell?
I've never eaten at Taco Bell.
36. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind?
We had an exchange student from France when I was 14, and it was her favorite movie. She was so excited to watch it because she'd never actually heard what Vivian Leigh and Cary Grant sounded like.
ETA: Mudda (Alec's mom) astutely points out it was Clark Gable. Cecile also had an obsession with Cary Grant.
37. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore?
No.
38. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie?
I never saw it.
39. Are surveys like the cocaine of myspace?
No.
40. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)?
I'm fond of the beach.
41. What is your favorite candle scent?
Whatever my brother James bought me for Christmas. It's Christmas Cookie or vanilla or something like that...
42. Do you believe places can really be haunted?
Yes.
43. Do you smoke cigarettes?
Very rarely. I'm getting closer to saying I'm an ex-smoker because the times are few and far between.
44. Have you ever been to NYC or LA?
Yes.
45. How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport?
None.
46. Do you think 50 questions is enough?
Enough for what?
47. Are you currently planning a trip?
We're going to San Diego in August to visit my brother James.
48. Is Ryan Seacrest gay?
I don't care.
49. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills?
No.
50. What do you think about space travel?
Are you planning a trip?
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Happy Mother's Day
On September 10, 2002, I became a mom. The process was nothing like the plan I'd carefully written in the back of my journal in elegant, looped cursive. It was probably that day that I realized that I could no longer meticulously plan things out. And eventually, I let it go. OK, I am letting go. OK. I do better at letting go some days than others.
I knew back then that pushing a couple of babies out high on an epidural wasn't going to be the hardest thing I'd have to do for them. Some days that's a pretty terrifying thought. My mom was there in the delivery room the day I had Lauren. Was that the hardest thing she had to do for me? I'm sure not. I'd probably venture a guess it's not even in her top 10 hardest things...
I hope what I am teaching my girls is that the best things in life are often hard, but worth it, because parenthood is definitely one of those things.
I knew back then that pushing a couple of babies out high on an epidural wasn't going to be the hardest thing I'd have to do for them. Some days that's a pretty terrifying thought. My mom was there in the delivery room the day I had Lauren. Was that the hardest thing she had to do for me? I'm sure not. I'd probably venture a guess it's not even in her top 10 hardest things...
I hope what I am teaching my girls is that the best things in life are often hard, but worth it, because parenthood is definitely one of those things.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
That niggly feeling
I was at the bus stop yesterday. I'm sure I mentioned I hate the bus stop. The bus stop, for all intents and purposes is the high school gym locker room and either you're sooo fat and the girls can't believe they make panties that big, oh my God...or you're sooo skinny and one of the ones wearing blue mascara tells everyone she saw you throwing up, oh my God.
Ahem...anyway...
There's a dad at my bus stop. His name is Pete. He seems friendly enough, bothered to find out everyone's names and says hello to everyone by name whenever he's there. There's just something off about him. I don't think I have the prejudice that Kat (Lauren's friend Rachel's mom) has about stay-at-home or work-at-home dads - she had mismatched two parents at school and thought both parents were dropping twins off every day and she made that awful gagging gesture like this might possibly be the most disgusting thing one would have to witness. I don't know if Alec and I would both show at school to do a drop off, but damn, how idyllic would both working out of the home be? What's particularly odd about the comment is that I think both Kat and Sam do work out of their home...
Right, sorry. Pete. So, Pete picks up his son at the bus stop, always saying how wonderful it is to be doing that. I smile and try not to say something snide, because well, being at home can be wonderful, but some days it's tiring, boring, and lonely. When you've gotten absolutely no sleep, are trying to simultaneously clean up cat puke, strip beds, and remember if it's "Return the Book in the Bag Day" or "Share Day" while a four-and-a-half year old demands to know why she can't have a lollipop at ten o'clock in the blessed morning...
Usually, Lindsay is napping at bus stop time, so I slip out of the house as late as I can manage, gather Lauren, and make a dash back, but yesterday, Lindsay was already awake a minute before it was time to leave. I scooped her up, grabbed the water-filled sippy cup off the counter, and slung the MacClaren over my shoulder, walking briskly as she drank, spitting water on my top, and tried to avoid tripping over the folded stroller. As I approached the bus stop, I opened the stroller, placed Lin inside, and threw the now empty sippy cup in the basket underneath.
"If my wife wasn't going through menopause, we would totally have another baby..."
I blinked at him. Wow, that's a lot of information, I thought. I tried to smile politely, and replied, "The wakings every 2 hours are hard now that I'm in my 30s as opposed to my 20s...I don't know that I'd want to do that again..." I lowered my voice "...once I was in my 40s..."
"You're 30?"
"I'm 32."
"Well, I'm 52, and my wife is 47..." he continued. "We could adopt, I suppose..."
"Sure." Uh. Where is the bus? Please?
"But it seems like it wouldn't be fair for a man in his fifties to adopt a newborn..."
Fair? "I know absolutely nothing about adopting..."
My discomfort must've started to show, because he turned to talk to Dean's older brother who must be about 12.
"So, Geoff," Pete said, "The moral is that you should wait until you're old enough to appreciate having kids..."
"Well...or you can have them while you're in your 20s. And then you can be young while you enjoy your grandkids. My dad is 55." I said quickly.
"Seriously?" Pete said, with interest. "Wow, that means I'm old enough to be your dad, almost."
And with that, the bus finally showed and the conversation mercifully ended.
Ahem...anyway...
There's a dad at my bus stop. His name is Pete. He seems friendly enough, bothered to find out everyone's names and says hello to everyone by name whenever he's there. There's just something off about him. I don't think I have the prejudice that Kat (Lauren's friend Rachel's mom) has about stay-at-home or work-at-home dads - she had mismatched two parents at school and thought both parents were dropping twins off every day and she made that awful gagging gesture like this might possibly be the most disgusting thing one would have to witness. I don't know if Alec and I would both show at school to do a drop off, but damn, how idyllic would both working out of the home be? What's particularly odd about the comment is that I think both Kat and Sam do work out of their home...
Right, sorry. Pete. So, Pete picks up his son at the bus stop, always saying how wonderful it is to be doing that. I smile and try not to say something snide, because well, being at home can be wonderful, but some days it's tiring, boring, and lonely. When you've gotten absolutely no sleep, are trying to simultaneously clean up cat puke, strip beds, and remember if it's "Return the Book in the Bag Day" or "Share Day" while a four-and-a-half year old demands to know why she can't have a lollipop at ten o'clock in the blessed morning...
Usually, Lindsay is napping at bus stop time, so I slip out of the house as late as I can manage, gather Lauren, and make a dash back, but yesterday, Lindsay was already awake a minute before it was time to leave. I scooped her up, grabbed the water-filled sippy cup off the counter, and slung the MacClaren over my shoulder, walking briskly as she drank, spitting water on my top, and tried to avoid tripping over the folded stroller. As I approached the bus stop, I opened the stroller, placed Lin inside, and threw the now empty sippy cup in the basket underneath.
"If my wife wasn't going through menopause, we would totally have another baby..."
I blinked at him. Wow, that's a lot of information, I thought. I tried to smile politely, and replied, "The wakings every 2 hours are hard now that I'm in my 30s as opposed to my 20s...I don't know that I'd want to do that again..." I lowered my voice "...once I was in my 40s..."
"You're 30?"
"I'm 32."
"Well, I'm 52, and my wife is 47..." he continued. "We could adopt, I suppose..."
"Sure." Uh. Where is the bus? Please?
"But it seems like it wouldn't be fair for a man in his fifties to adopt a newborn..."
Fair? "I know absolutely nothing about adopting..."
My discomfort must've started to show, because he turned to talk to Dean's older brother who must be about 12.
"So, Geoff," Pete said, "The moral is that you should wait until you're old enough to appreciate having kids..."
"Well...or you can have them while you're in your 20s. And then you can be young while you enjoy your grandkids. My dad is 55." I said quickly.
"Seriously?" Pete said, with interest. "Wow, that means I'm old enough to be your dad, almost."
And with that, the bus finally showed and the conversation mercifully ended.
Friday, May 11, 2007
How times have changed
"And we'll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes..." I sang.
"Mom," Lauren interjected.
"Hmm?"
"Chocolate pizza."
"Wha?"
"We'll all have chocolate pizza when she comes," she sang back.
"Seriously?"
"Mmm hmm..."
I shook my head, "Wow."
"Mom," Lauren interjected.
"Hmm?"
"Chocolate pizza."
"Wha?"
"We'll all have chocolate pizza when she comes," she sang back.
"Seriously?"
"Mmm hmm..."
I shook my head, "Wow."
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Because I know you won't tell...
Lauren bound off the bus today in front of her bus stop friend, Dean, who is in kindergarten and bore a single marigold in a plastic cup for his mom.
"Oh, the plant sale's this week," I exclaimed. "Must remember to send money tomorrow..."
Lauren admired Dean's orange flower. "Mom," she said very seriously.
"Yes, honey?"
"I will need you to open Piggy tonight."
"Ok..."
"Because I want to use my own money to buy you a present for Mother's Day..."
My cheeks suddenly felt hot. I pressed the back of my right hand against my forehead, blinked away the tears that had come to my eyes, and nodded, "Ok, I will help you with that when we get home."
While I was straightening up the kitchen, she appeared behind me holding Piggy. "I want to do it now so that I don't forget," she said simply. "It's important."
She rushed out to watch some television as I struggled to open the plastic piggy bank, quite heavy with Alec's pocket change she'd been collecting for the past year. All of the crisp bills had been removed with trips to the toy store and pharmacy to pick up a bottle of bubbles or a rubber ball. I dumped an obligatory amount of change on to the table and then slipped a five dollar bill out of my own wallet in the pile. When she wandered back in, I said, "Here you are. I will put it into a bag for you."
She grinned. "Great. I'm glad that's taken care of. I feel better now."
"Cool," I managed.
"Oh, the plant sale's this week," I exclaimed. "Must remember to send money tomorrow..."
Lauren admired Dean's orange flower. "Mom," she said very seriously.
"Yes, honey?"
"I will need you to open Piggy tonight."
"Ok..."
"Because I want to use my own money to buy you a present for Mother's Day..."
My cheeks suddenly felt hot. I pressed the back of my right hand against my forehead, blinked away the tears that had come to my eyes, and nodded, "Ok, I will help you with that when we get home."
While I was straightening up the kitchen, she appeared behind me holding Piggy. "I want to do it now so that I don't forget," she said simply. "It's important."
She rushed out to watch some television as I struggled to open the plastic piggy bank, quite heavy with Alec's pocket change she'd been collecting for the past year. All of the crisp bills had been removed with trips to the toy store and pharmacy to pick up a bottle of bubbles or a rubber ball. I dumped an obligatory amount of change on to the table and then slipped a five dollar bill out of my own wallet in the pile. When she wandered back in, I said, "Here you are. I will put it into a bag for you."
She grinned. "Great. I'm glad that's taken care of. I feel better now."
"Cool," I managed.
More on eschewing fear
During our after dinner walk last night, we saw a woman with a small dog. She was standing in her front yard surrounded by a couple of children. As we crossed the street, she yanked the dog's collar and then scooped it up.
"May I please pet your doggie?" Lauren asked politely as she slowly approached.
"No." the woman replied, pulling a stern face.
"Ok." Lauren replied.
"Have a nice evening," I said.
She stared back with the same stern expression.
We walked about a half a block in silence. As we turned the corner, I said, "Sometimes small dogs can be yip-y."
"Yippy?"
"They sometimes have bad temperaments and bite."
"Oh."
"Did you think maybe the dog wasn't very nice and that was why she said you couldn't pet him."
"No," Lauren said hollowly. "I think that woman was lying to me."
"That could be," I said. "I wanted to get away from her. I didn't think she was very nice at all."
"Me too. It made me feel sad that she lied."
"I can understand that." I said. "Sometimes it makes me mad when I know people aren't telling the truth."
"Yeah," she said. "Hey! Lilacs! Can we sniff them?"
"Sure," I said.
"May I please pet your doggie?" Lauren asked politely as she slowly approached.
"No." the woman replied, pulling a stern face.
"Ok." Lauren replied.
"Have a nice evening," I said.
She stared back with the same stern expression.
We walked about a half a block in silence. As we turned the corner, I said, "Sometimes small dogs can be yip-y."
"Yippy?"
"They sometimes have bad temperaments and bite."
"Oh."
"Did you think maybe the dog wasn't very nice and that was why she said you couldn't pet him."
"No," Lauren said hollowly. "I think that woman was lying to me."
"That could be," I said. "I wanted to get away from her. I didn't think she was very nice at all."
"Me too. It made me feel sad that she lied."
"I can understand that." I said. "Sometimes it makes me mad when I know people aren't telling the truth."
"Yeah," she said. "Hey! Lilacs! Can we sniff them?"
"Sure," I said.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Morning oddness
About 30 seconds before my first sip of coffee this morning, our borough's mayor was on my doorstep. I'd mentioned before that I live in a very small town, and she's a neighbor. She said that one of her council members was here and wanted to discuss the trees.
"The trees?" I stepped out of the house in my bare feet, managing to leave Lauren, still in jammies, indoors. Lindsay still snoozing upstairs.
My neighbors Bob and Brice were already outside, chatting with a tall blonde in a fitted dark suit. The mayor had apparently caught wind of our conversation last night about how the sidewalk on the public path needs to be repaired around the huge trees which have uprooted several squares. She continued about how once the borough starts such a project that it must be ADA-compliant and she and the councilwoman argued about whether the path was a right-of-way and needed to be 6 feet wide or 36 inches or some other width.
The upshot is that someone from the borough will come to see if they can put small risers in our sidewalk to accommodate our 2 trees, which will remain standing, and a tree specialist will remove the tree in my neighbor's yard. The borough will trim our hedges back from the sidewalk to provide the required amount of space for a person in a wheelchair to travel the path (although they would not be able to cross the street and continue the path because the older sections, though flat, aren't ADA accessible). All and all, setting aside some workmen in the yard for a couple three days, produces a very nice outcome of a more walkable path, and a bit more light for our garden when the huge tree comes down.
"The trees?" I stepped out of the house in my bare feet, managing to leave Lauren, still in jammies, indoors. Lindsay still snoozing upstairs.
My neighbors Bob and Brice were already outside, chatting with a tall blonde in a fitted dark suit. The mayor had apparently caught wind of our conversation last night about how the sidewalk on the public path needs to be repaired around the huge trees which have uprooted several squares. She continued about how once the borough starts such a project that it must be ADA-compliant and she and the councilwoman argued about whether the path was a right-of-way and needed to be 6 feet wide or 36 inches or some other width.
The upshot is that someone from the borough will come to see if they can put small risers in our sidewalk to accommodate our 2 trees, which will remain standing, and a tree specialist will remove the tree in my neighbor's yard. The borough will trim our hedges back from the sidewalk to provide the required amount of space for a person in a wheelchair to travel the path (although they would not be able to cross the street and continue the path because the older sections, though flat, aren't ADA accessible). All and all, setting aside some workmen in the yard for a couple three days, produces a very nice outcome of a more walkable path, and a bit more light for our garden when the huge tree comes down.
Eschewing fear
Earlier in the year, our school system had Child Assault Prevention week. As with so many things that happen at my daughter's school, the memo sent home was very vague about the curriculum and included a signature sheet only if you didn't want your child to participate in the week-long activities. They held a parent lecture that we were given very short notice about that happened the day after they started this program, and sent home short memos each day of what was discussed to encourage further parent/child discussion.
The thrust of the program for the under 6 set is to teach them that strangers are lurking everywhere, out to lure them into cars and gain unwelcome entry into their homes. This was a terrifying idea to Lauren, and for several weeks after, she was almost panicked about leaving the house for fear that there was a stranger just beyond her vision waiting to steal her away. While the idea of keeping them safe, strong, and free is a good one, the idea that the only danger comes from someone you don't know isn't quite the right message.
I'd read about Gavin de Becker's book, Protecting the Gift, on several of the blogs I read. It was a hard book to read because it exposed my own fantastic thinking that we live in a nice town surrounded by good people and therefore things would be different. One in three girls (and one in six boys) under the age of 12 is sexually abused. Sexual predators are insidious because they gain access to our children through gaining our trust, de Becker's book warns. We must pay close attention to our feelings about people, and teach our children that their instincts about people, adults and children, they don't want to be around for whatever reason should be heeded. We must also give our children the language and knowledge to protect themselves, and the ability to communicate their concerns to us and to other trusted adults, and to be able to identify people who can help them in an emergency situation. This is where stranger danger denies our children - if separated from us they should be able to identify someone who can help them find us (like another mommy in the mall) or can get us help (like a neighbor).
Currently, our therapy at home has been talking to strangers. This is a Lauren-guided activity that usually involves asking a simple question like asking the nearby ride-operator what time the carnival opens, or the woman planting flowers in front of her house what types there are. Afterwards, we talk about whether the person answered her question to her satisfaction, and if the experience was pleasant. I notice after just a week of this activity, she speaks to unknown adults with a confidence now and is already less fearful when we leave the house.
As for the CAP program, I don't know if I will bar her from participating next year. This may be the first of many aspects of our school systems curriculum that I won't agree with, but maybe that is itself an opportunity for an open discussion.
The thrust of the program for the under 6 set is to teach them that strangers are lurking everywhere, out to lure them into cars and gain unwelcome entry into their homes. This was a terrifying idea to Lauren, and for several weeks after, she was almost panicked about leaving the house for fear that there was a stranger just beyond her vision waiting to steal her away. While the idea of keeping them safe, strong, and free is a good one, the idea that the only danger comes from someone you don't know isn't quite the right message.
I'd read about Gavin de Becker's book, Protecting the Gift, on several of the blogs I read. It was a hard book to read because it exposed my own fantastic thinking that we live in a nice town surrounded by good people and therefore things would be different. One in three girls (and one in six boys) under the age of 12 is sexually abused. Sexual predators are insidious because they gain access to our children through gaining our trust, de Becker's book warns. We must pay close attention to our feelings about people, and teach our children that their instincts about people, adults and children, they don't want to be around for whatever reason should be heeded. We must also give our children the language and knowledge to protect themselves, and the ability to communicate their concerns to us and to other trusted adults, and to be able to identify people who can help them in an emergency situation. This is where stranger danger denies our children - if separated from us they should be able to identify someone who can help them find us (like another mommy in the mall) or can get us help (like a neighbor).
Currently, our therapy at home has been talking to strangers. This is a Lauren-guided activity that usually involves asking a simple question like asking the nearby ride-operator what time the carnival opens, or the woman planting flowers in front of her house what types there are. Afterwards, we talk about whether the person answered her question to her satisfaction, and if the experience was pleasant. I notice after just a week of this activity, she speaks to unknown adults with a confidence now and is already less fearful when we leave the house.
As for the CAP program, I don't know if I will bar her from participating next year. This may be the first of many aspects of our school systems curriculum that I won't agree with, but maybe that is itself an opportunity for an open discussion.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
This post was swiped
In the tradition of another well-known blog's Sunday Stealing, this post was swiped. Steal it for yourself, and give a holler over there that you did...
1. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom?
It depends on which bathroom I'm in. I rarely close the bathroom door when I'm in the upstairs bathroom unless there are guests in the house. I'm not advocating the practice, and it explains why I am having a hard time teaching Lauren to close the door. The downstairs bathroom faces the front door, so I always remember to close it.
2. If you have to go grocery shopping, would you rather go alone or with someone ?
This is sort of a two-part answer. I would rather go alone than with my kids, and I would rather go with my husband than alone. I hate grocery shopping and he usually manages to make it entertaining.
3. It's your best friends birthday, do you buy them a gift even though they didn't buy you one for yours ?
No. I'd be glad that we got that out of the way. Please let's not exchange gifts!
4. You win the lottery. Lump sum or small payments over a period of time?
Lump sum, baby!
5. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
I listen to my music at near ear-splitting decibels. It's frankly amazing I can still hear.
6. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?
Definitely a beach person. Now ask when was the last time I went to the beach? Yeah, I have no idea. It's been a while.
7. When do you brush your teeth?
I brush my teeth first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to sleep.
8. Can you watch scary movies alone?
I prefer to watch them alone.
9. Soft bed or firm?
I have a firm mattress with a feather bed.
10. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about?
It depends on the day.
11. What's one of your worst memories?
It's always the item in the middle of my shopping list when I've left the actual list on the refrigerator.
12. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?
I generally keep the peace.
13. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends?
A few close friends.
14. What are your plans for October?
I haven't written anything down in that part of my calendar yet. I plan to take another class in the fall. Lauren will be in school all day. I'm an officer in the PTO, so I imagine I'll have at least one meeting that month.
15. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?
I would live in a few places if money weren't a problem. I'd definitely have a summer house on the beach, a primary residence in the suburbs, and an apartment in Battery Park City. The city apartment would be a weekend fun thing that would come equipped with a sitter for our evenings out.
16. What is your ideal profession?
I still haven't figured that out yet. But you'll be the first to know...
17. Are you close to your Mom and Dad?
Yes, but rarely at the same time.
18. What is one fear that you can't seem to overcome?
I've made a lot of progress with that, actually. At one time, I used to have panic attacks whenever I would try to drive the car. I still have a bit of trouble with highway driving.
19. Are you good at math?
Yes.
Editor's note. There is no question 20. It is sort of like getting a "Get out of Jail Free" card.
21. Is there anyone that you regret ever meeting?
No.
22. Rate your life on a scale from 1 - 10:
Definitely a solid 8. Some days even a 9.
23. Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
I don't co-habitate well. My family is very tolerant of my idiosyncrasies.
24. Do you like any of your friends a little more than just a friend?
That sounds a little creepy and stalker-ish.
25. Do you like to drive?
Sometimes. See answer 18.
27. If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
That kitty is already out of the burlap.
28. Do you give money to homeless people when they ask?
No.
29. A weekend in Las Vegas or Miami?
Ben and I keep talking about spending a weekend in Las Vegas with our spouses. I'd say that, though Alec and I have had many nice weekends in Miami over the course of his project down there.
30. When you go to the store, do you have a list or just buy random things?
I almost always make a list. I remember to bring it about a third of the time.
31. What do you wear to sleep in?
A white t-shirt and cotton drawstring pajama bottoms usually.
32. You have 3 months left to live, what do you do?
Yeah, I'm with Dad off to buy a pack of Marlboros. Somewhere beachy and balmy with my family after that.
33. You're having a bad day, what one thing can make your day better?
A big hug.
34. Tanning bed?
Never.
35. Is there anything you would change about your body if you could?
I'm beautiful as I am now.
36. You wake up in an unfamiliar place, what is your first reaction?
Oh, right. It's Thursday.
37. Is there anything that you should be doing right now?
Taking Lauren to her friend's birthday party.
38. If there was a way to know when and how you're going to die, would you want that information?
Why? What do you know?
39. What is your favorite breakfast food?
I like all breakfast food. I'd be hard pressed to think of one I don't like.
40. Your phone rings at 4am, who do you expect it to be?
A wrong number. Anyone who actually knows me would never call me at 4 AM.
1. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom?
It depends on which bathroom I'm in. I rarely close the bathroom door when I'm in the upstairs bathroom unless there are guests in the house. I'm not advocating the practice, and it explains why I am having a hard time teaching Lauren to close the door. The downstairs bathroom faces the front door, so I always remember to close it.
2. If you have to go grocery shopping, would you rather go alone or with someone ?
This is sort of a two-part answer. I would rather go alone than with my kids, and I would rather go with my husband than alone. I hate grocery shopping and he usually manages to make it entertaining.
3. It's your best friends birthday, do you buy them a gift even though they didn't buy you one for yours ?
No. I'd be glad that we got that out of the way. Please let's not exchange gifts!
4. You win the lottery. Lump sum or small payments over a period of time?
Lump sum, baby!
5. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
I listen to my music at near ear-splitting decibels. It's frankly amazing I can still hear.
6. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?
Definitely a beach person. Now ask when was the last time I went to the beach? Yeah, I have no idea. It's been a while.
7. When do you brush your teeth?
I brush my teeth first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to sleep.
8. Can you watch scary movies alone?
I prefer to watch them alone.
9. Soft bed or firm?
I have a firm mattress with a feather bed.
10. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about?
It depends on the day.
11. What's one of your worst memories?
It's always the item in the middle of my shopping list when I've left the actual list on the refrigerator.
12. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?
I generally keep the peace.
13. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends?
A few close friends.
14. What are your plans for October?
I haven't written anything down in that part of my calendar yet. I plan to take another class in the fall. Lauren will be in school all day. I'm an officer in the PTO, so I imagine I'll have at least one meeting that month.
15. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?
I would live in a few places if money weren't a problem. I'd definitely have a summer house on the beach, a primary residence in the suburbs, and an apartment in Battery Park City. The city apartment would be a weekend fun thing that would come equipped with a sitter for our evenings out.
16. What is your ideal profession?
I still haven't figured that out yet. But you'll be the first to know...
17. Are you close to your Mom and Dad?
Yes, but rarely at the same time.
18. What is one fear that you can't seem to overcome?
I've made a lot of progress with that, actually. At one time, I used to have panic attacks whenever I would try to drive the car. I still have a bit of trouble with highway driving.
19. Are you good at math?
Yes.
Editor's note. There is no question 20. It is sort of like getting a "Get out of Jail Free" card.
21. Is there anyone that you regret ever meeting?
No.
22. Rate your life on a scale from 1 - 10:
Definitely a solid 8. Some days even a 9.
23. Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
I don't co-habitate well. My family is very tolerant of my idiosyncrasies.
24. Do you like any of your friends a little more than just a friend?
That sounds a little creepy and stalker-ish.
25. Do you like to drive?
Sometimes. See answer 18.
27. If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
That kitty is already out of the burlap.
28. Do you give money to homeless people when they ask?
No.
29. A weekend in Las Vegas or Miami?
Ben and I keep talking about spending a weekend in Las Vegas with our spouses. I'd say that, though Alec and I have had many nice weekends in Miami over the course of his project down there.
30. When you go to the store, do you have a list or just buy random things?
I almost always make a list. I remember to bring it about a third of the time.
31. What do you wear to sleep in?
A white t-shirt and cotton drawstring pajama bottoms usually.
32. You have 3 months left to live, what do you do?
Yeah, I'm with Dad off to buy a pack of Marlboros. Somewhere beachy and balmy with my family after that.
33. You're having a bad day, what one thing can make your day better?
A big hug.
34. Tanning bed?
Never.
35. Is there anything you would change about your body if you could?
I'm beautiful as I am now.
36. You wake up in an unfamiliar place, what is your first reaction?
Oh, right. It's Thursday.
37. Is there anything that you should be doing right now?
Taking Lauren to her friend's birthday party.
38. If there was a way to know when and how you're going to die, would you want that information?
Why? What do you know?
39. What is your favorite breakfast food?
I like all breakfast food. I'd be hard pressed to think of one I don't like.
40. Your phone rings at 4am, who do you expect it to be?
A wrong number. Anyone who actually knows me would never call me at 4 AM.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Out of the box
Karen got me addicted to Oh My Stinkin' Heck. Heather posted yesterday about how she loves to be in her house and I sort of relate to it. I've spent most of my at home time alternate between feeling like I just wanted to be in my house and feeling like I had to be anywhere-but-in-the-damn-house-already stir crazy. That is, until recently.
The spring was slow to take in Jersey. Although we had some gorgeous warm days at the end of February, the month of March was mostly cold and rainy. The second week of April brought some truly beautiful spring weather. It also marked the week after our spring vacation to Hershey and the realization to afford the family trip we've planned in August, we were going to have to find ways to cut back. Coupled with that, I was really inspired by No Impact Man which is about a family living in New York City in an experiment of sustainable living. I'm sure I couldn't do a lot of the things he's done to reduce his impact (they gave up toilet paper!) and in the scheme of things leaving my car at home, toting canvas bags, and finally making good use of the library seem unimpressive, but they've been pretty major life changes for our family.
I began packing a lunch at 10 AM, and leaving the house on foot with the stroller, a well-stocked diaper bag, and plans to go somewhere whether that was one of the playgroups we participate in, the library, or the park. We head to school to arrive about a half hour before it starts to eat our picnic lunch at the lone table in front of the school, finish just as the first kids arrive to play, and when Lauren goes in to class, Lindsay and I head to walk the mile back home for her nap time. I catch up on email, do a few household chores, and read until I go to meet the bus. We've headed back out a couple of days to the park, and shopping another day once Lin awakes from her nap, get back in time to make dinner. We've also added about a 20-30 minute walk to our after dinner/bedtime routine. After the kids go to bed, I've been working on some Mother's Day presents I'm making, the sewing project, and reading some crazily addictive chick lit.
Those of you who've been wondering why I'm never online anymore are starting to see a trend. I've been checking email in the morning when I have my coffee and I blog in the afternoon during my Mommy Break of Lindsay's nap during Lauren's school time, but that's been it. The few times I've thought about logging on the Trillian, I've immediately been distracted by one or both kids wanting to read one of the half dozen library books we've taken out or a game to play. I've been pushed outside of my boundaries and I'm discovering that there is something kind of nice about that. It's pretty damn hard to feel sad and isolated when you're walking 2-3 miles a day in the sunshine. I do miss our online chats, and I will get back to you on the first rainy day, mkay? I promise. Until then, know that I am well.
The spring was slow to take in Jersey. Although we had some gorgeous warm days at the end of February, the month of March was mostly cold and rainy. The second week of April brought some truly beautiful spring weather. It also marked the week after our spring vacation to Hershey and the realization to afford the family trip we've planned in August, we were going to have to find ways to cut back. Coupled with that, I was really inspired by No Impact Man which is about a family living in New York City in an experiment of sustainable living. I'm sure I couldn't do a lot of the things he's done to reduce his impact (they gave up toilet paper!) and in the scheme of things leaving my car at home, toting canvas bags, and finally making good use of the library seem unimpressive, but they've been pretty major life changes for our family.
I began packing a lunch at 10 AM, and leaving the house on foot with the stroller, a well-stocked diaper bag, and plans to go somewhere whether that was one of the playgroups we participate in, the library, or the park. We head to school to arrive about a half hour before it starts to eat our picnic lunch at the lone table in front of the school, finish just as the first kids arrive to play, and when Lauren goes in to class, Lindsay and I head to walk the mile back home for her nap time. I catch up on email, do a few household chores, and read until I go to meet the bus. We've headed back out a couple of days to the park, and shopping another day once Lin awakes from her nap, get back in time to make dinner. We've also added about a 20-30 minute walk to our after dinner/bedtime routine. After the kids go to bed, I've been working on some Mother's Day presents I'm making, the sewing project, and reading some crazily addictive chick lit.
Those of you who've been wondering why I'm never online anymore are starting to see a trend. I've been checking email in the morning when I have my coffee and I blog in the afternoon during my Mommy Break of Lindsay's nap during Lauren's school time, but that's been it. The few times I've thought about logging on the Trillian, I've immediately been distracted by one or both kids wanting to read one of the half dozen library books we've taken out or a game to play. I've been pushed outside of my boundaries and I'm discovering that there is something kind of nice about that. It's pretty damn hard to feel sad and isolated when you're walking 2-3 miles a day in the sunshine. I do miss our online chats, and I will get back to you on the first rainy day, mkay? I promise. Until then, know that I am well.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Reflecting on reverence
Who knew such a quiet little tribute would go down in a flame war? It was not my intention to do anything but show respect. I saw the One Day Blog Silence on several of the blogs I read on Monday, and thought it was positive gesture. A way to let some people know our thoughts are with them.
I understand Rob's point. I would hazard a guess that this issue is much nearer to Rob's heart than any of us can relate to, as he served in the Army. To echo Lisa and Sybil, we haven't forgotten those who have fallen. We sent in our votes in the mid-term election. We want this war to be over, and our service men and women to come home to their families.
I invite you to participate with me in Mimi's BlogBlast for Peace which will take place on June 6. Let's make our voices heard together.
I understand Rob's point. I would hazard a guess that this issue is much nearer to Rob's heart than any of us can relate to, as he served in the Army. To echo Lisa and Sybil, we haven't forgotten those who have fallen. We sent in our votes in the mid-term election. We want this war to be over, and our service men and women to come home to their families.
I invite you to participate with me in Mimi's BlogBlast for Peace which will take place on June 6. Let's make our voices heard together.
God snickered
Retracing some steps over the course of a wonderful morning spent at the park, the reasons suddenly became clear why I wore my old Rocket Dogs instead of my insanely hip black Converse All Stars with the flames painted on the side, and brought along my camera:
Avoiding a newly paved patch of sidewalk, I tried to step on what I thought was a muddy patch between the sidewalk and the street as I lowered the stroller into the street. The ground gave and suddenly I found my entire foot encased in mud. I struggled at first to pull out as the cool mud oozed into my shoe. And then I just had to laugh at myself, because here I was stuck. As I laughed, I realized I was able to slide my foot out, mercifully still in its shoe.
Lindsay appreciates a good laugh just as much as the next girl. Why, yes. If you miss the embroidered flowers on her pants you might think she is dressed like a boy. And you'll astutely notice the I believe in miracles! crown from the Easter egg hunt is still in the bottom of our stroller. Don't make me kick you - my foot will probably stick.
Avoiding a newly paved patch of sidewalk, I tried to step on what I thought was a muddy patch between the sidewalk and the street as I lowered the stroller into the street. The ground gave and suddenly I found my entire foot encased in mud. I struggled at first to pull out as the cool mud oozed into my shoe. And then I just had to laugh at myself, because here I was stuck. As I laughed, I realized I was able to slide my foot out, mercifully still in its shoe.
Lindsay appreciates a good laugh just as much as the next girl. Why, yes. If you miss the embroidered flowers on her pants you might think she is dressed like a boy. And you'll astutely notice the I believe in miracles! crown from the Easter egg hunt is still in the bottom of our stroller. Don't make me kick you - my foot will probably stick.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
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