Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Just tired

Too hot for the park today, even though I'd planned ahead and packed lunch. I worked with Lauren on her reading and workbooks. She carefully copied her letters, and read a 4-sentence story. "Play a game with me, Mama," she said.

Tired from waking in the wee hours again. Playgroups are good for socializing, but I always leave feeling more tired. One of the mommies announced she's pregnant (14 weeks) with her second child, so we talked animatedly about that - us three other mommies have second children all born within a week of each other.

Instead, she's playing Caribou by herself, narrating like a sportscaster. When Lindsay wakes up in about an hour and a half, we're heading to the pool.

Maybe it was the talk of school today that has me feeling tired and put out?

Or maybe the result of the 3-day break?

Monday, July 30, 2007

What we did during our 3 days without kids

...went out for a lovely dinner in the city complete with frozen watermelon margaritas.

...saw 3 movies, 2 of them back-to-back.

...cleaned the car and the house.

...during every lull, said, "I miss my girls"...

Sunday, July 29, 2007

This meme is stolen

Hooray for thieves!

1. Who was your best friend?
Over the course of 4 years, I had several really good friends.

2. Did you play any sports?
I tried out for swim team my freshman year and was about to be cut when I dropped out.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
A white 1985 Dodge 400 convertible that belonged to my aunt Diane.

4. It’s Friday night. Where were you?
When I wasn't working, we used to go see laser light shows at the planetarium in the Science Museum.

5. Were you a party animal?
No.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
Probably.

7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir?
I was in orchestra and choir. I played viola in the school orchestra, and belonged to a select chamber orchestra. I played for a civic orchestra that was conducted by the father of a friend of mine. I was fair at both - I wasn't ever particularly that good at viola, but since no one played it, I didn't really have to be. I made second chair because I was a good sight-reader and knew something about music theory. We had 3 tiers of choir in my school, and I was in the 2nd tier. I was assigned to switch parts a lot again because I was a good sight-reader. I also had excellent pitch. My choir teacher kept encouraging me to take private voice lessons, but since I was already studying 3 instruments (guitar, viola, and piano), did the string group and drama club,
and had 2 jobs, I never had time.

8. Were you a nerd?
Ha ha. If you read the above, I don't think you need to ask that question.

9. Were you ever suspended or expelled?
No. I was close to being suspended for threatening another student. I don't know if my parents talked me out of it, or my guidance counselor did.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
I know there was one, I don't think I ever sang it.

11. Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr Casey, who coached drama club and Mr Pagani, also an English teacher, led me in an independent study course my senior year in short story writing.

12. What was your school mascot?
A chieftain.

13. Did you go to the Prom?
Yes. I didn't have a very good time.

14. If you could go back, would you?
Absolutely not.

15. What do you remember most about graduation?
We were each given roses during the processional. I had left mine on my seat because I was so worried about coordinating receiving my diploma case and shaking the principal's hand. My boyfriend stepped into the aisle and handed me his rose and kissed my cheek on the way to the stage.

16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day?
We didn't have one. After the senior prank (which was drawing police-style chalk drawings on the grounds) resulted in about 10 girls getting suspended, we were told if we skipped, parent's note or not, we would not receive our diplomas.

17. Did you have a job your senior year?
I started working my junior year after I received my driver's license. I worked at the driving school a couple of evenings a week answering phones and doing data entry, and couple of afternoons and weekends, at the nursing home where my mom worked, as a server. I worked about 20 hours a week during the school year, which looking back was SO brilliant of my parents. It was just enough that I was too busy to get into trouble, and not so much that I didn't have time to study. I worked 35 hours a week during the summer because it was against their policy to hire anyone under 18 full-time. I didn't turn 18 until shortly after I went to college.

18. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Everywhere but the cafeteria. Honor roll students received student regulated privileges, so I was allowed to go to the library without a hall pass. When it was nice outside, I was out in the courtyard doing an assignment for an upcoming period.

19. Have you gained weight since then?
Yes.

20. What did you do after graduation?
There was a party in the cafeteria. It was lame, so my boyfriend and I left and went to a movie.

21. What year did you graduate?
1992.

22. Who was your Senior Prom Date?
My boyfriend.

23. Did you go to your 10 year reunion?
No. My 15th reunion is this year and I'm not going to that either.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Where's our hero?

So, I took a great picture of the kids playing at the park. And another of the kids at the beach. And yet another of Lauren having her hair done yesterday morning before the wedding. The two pictures you haven't seen are inside my cell phone which is angrily flashing at me because I forgot my charger.

We Stolls went together to have our hair done yesterday morning. We settled on big curls over the top of the wreath Lauren had chosen. Then, Lauren and I went to have our nails done. She sat excitedly as her toenails were painted a cheery pink, eyes wide as the young technician painted a flower on each big toenail.

Later, she reiterated the experience to Alec:

"Then, they give your feet a bath! But just your feet, so you don't have to take any clothes off! They wash your feet and then put lots of cream on them, and that kind of tickles, but I didn't mind it at all..." She showed off her matching white flowers on her index fingernails. "I thought when she first started that it was a butterfly, but then she took out the white and made a dot in the center, and then she painted a green stem..."

I know it may cost me some Worst Mama Points, but I can't really think of a better way to have spent $20.

Today, the girls head off with their GG and Grandpa Paul for the shore. Our fun includes a trip to a museum, dinner in the city, and catching up on movies. Oh, and sleep. Lots of sleep.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Isn't this what summer should be like?

Paul, Lauren, Ross, Nicole, and Lars

Gold shoes at dawn

Last week, Lauren selected a pair of gold shoes at Marshalls. They were on sale for $10, and as adorable as some of her grandparents think those plastic high-heeled dress up shoes look, those who surely remember how graceful I was as a child can't possibly think that my child does anything but fall off them crashing into things and yet they buy them for her anyway...she can't actually walk in them. These look a little like Dorothy's shoes might if they were gold flats. Fancy enough that they look princess-ish with one of those frocks, and yet walkable enough to make it to the grocery store.

At 6:30 AM, after waking me at nearly 2 AM screaming Mommy! in the dark for me to find that she was still asleep, Lauren stuck her gold shoe in my face. "Is this on the right foot?"

"No." I replied. I rolled over and fell back to sleep.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Ice cream at the park


When you're that good, you're allowed to hype

I will say first, I don't go out at midnight to buy any book. Particularly not one I can walk into the local Barnes and Noble to buy with ease a dozen hours later at a civilized afternoon-ish hour. I settled with the book in my lap in my jammies and comfy living room chair as Alec tucked the girls into bed last night.

I had to put it down at 1 AM, about 500 pages into it, too tired to keep my eyes focused, the words swimming on the page. I was up with the girls at 7, getting them dressed, making breakfast. Alec came downstairs around 10, and I snuck back into the bedroom, curled back up with the book in my unmade bed and didn't put it back down until I'd reached the back cover.

I got into the series quite late, just weeks before Order of the Phoenix was released, and finished reading the proceeding 4 books and then waited impatiently for Alec to finish reading the new book. I read Half-Blood Prince the day it arrived from Amazon (Alec had pre-ordered it) while I was recuperating from surgery. I remember having a long (albeit codeine-colored) conversation with Sybil about it.

So I'll just say: damn, that was a good book. Deathly Hallows did not disappoint.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Happy birthday, Jules

Lindsay with her Auntie Jules, Christmas 2006

I know you can't read this where you are, but I'm thinking of you. Happy 22, sis. I hope this year holds healing for you, and that by 23 this whole mess is far behind you.

I love you, Jules.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Flower girl

Almost perfect

I'll always be your sister
Your sister, your sister
I'll always be your sister
and I love you
And yet, somehow I think Lindsay would appreciate the sentiment more if Lauren weren't sitting on top of her.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

If Lauren was a rockstar

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

from Rockstar by Nickelback

"That doesn't sound like any fun at all." Lauren replied.

"Hmm?"

"We just won't eat?!"

"Oh, it's just a song..."

"I like to eat. I like to eat often, actually. It would not be any fun to be hungry all the time."

"No, I don't think so either..."

Monday, July 16, 2007

Some of that cute stuff

Lindsay, July 2007

Lauren, July 2007



One vote no

Sunday, July 15, 2007

But why won't she say Mama??!

Lindsay has just a handful of words so far. She says yes. She doesn't actually say no, but she shakes her head emphatically. She also indicates when she wants more. She says kitty [kiiiiy] and down [dun]. She has been saying Daddy [not Da or Dada] meaningfully for about 2 weeks. When my mom was visiting this week, she said "G.G." and indicated with a pointing finger that she wanted her grandmother. Today, she said Jack, the name of a 2 and a half year old friend.

I think I see a little twinkle in her eye that she doesn't say Mama. It's that same twinkle that she's taken a couple of steps that Alec has seen, and G.G. and Mimi saw, but not me.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Songs from the back(yardigans) seat

Because I'm not only beautiful
I'm extra extra tough!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

[Scene: Farmer's Market. Several tables are piled high with local produce, wildflowers, freshly baked breads and pies. A pickle stand is surrounded by barrels.

EPIPHANY enters, pushing a stroller with LINDSAY within. A diaper bag is slung over the rungs of the stroller which is flanked by LAUREN on one side.

As she eases her way toward the the tables with her purchases, EPIPHANY'S load grows heavy. As she approaches the pickle stand to speak with the proprietor, a YOUNG BOY comes around the back of the stroller, at the very moment LINDSAY stands up. The stroller crashes back, leaving YOUNG BOY looking surprised.]

LAUREN
: Mom, can I have a pickle?
YOUNG BOY: Sorry!
YOUNG BOY'S MOM: What did you do, Jeffrey?! Oh my God. Didn't you see there's a baby in there?!
EPIPHANY[tiredly]: It really wasn't his fault, ma'am. The groceries are too heavy for the stroller. And the baby is just fine...
LAUREN: Mom, can I have a pickle?
YOUNG BOY'S MOM: You'd better say you're sorry, Jeff.
EPIPHANY: He did say he was sorry. But it really wasn't his fault. The groceries were too heavy.
LAUREN: Mom, can I have a pickle?
PASSERBY: You know what the problem is? You have too many bags on the back of the stroller.
EPIPHANY: Oh, thank you.
LAUREN: Mom, can I have a pickle?
PICKLE VENDOR: That's 11 dollars.
PASSERBY: You really should fix the stroller so it doesn't fall down again...
LAUREN: Mom, can I have a pickle?

[Scene.]

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Beautiful butterflies

Lindsay

Katie

Lauren

These were from our trip to the Bronx Zoo today. The butterflies were amazingly beautiful. Far more so than I can manage to capture with my camera, but I hope you can see it reflected in the wonder in their little faces.

Of course, their favorite part of the day was the very dark Mouse House, where we got to see baby rodents of many sizes.

We will likely return when the heat of the summer has passed. When the humidity isn't such that even the act of sitting down leaves your bottom merged with the fabric of your jeans, and walking up hill leaves you breathless. Maybe in September when the crowds thin a bit, and "free" Wednesdays aren't jam-packed with camp kids in matching t-shirts.

We still had a lot of fun.

Katie, Mackenzie, and Lauren

Monday, July 09, 2007

Bad day

I was already in a bad mood when I loaded both kids into to the car at 10 AM. It was a scorching 92 degrees already, and the car, though parked in the shade of our driveway, was at least 10 degrees hotter.

I turned on the car and cranked up the air as I adjusted my old sunglasses. They pinch my nose, but my "new" glasses are scratched beyond being able to see with, and we were on our way to get them fixed, I hoped. I glanced at the radio, which didn't turn on as usual with the car. It was partially disconnected. Weird.

As I looked up, I realized the GPS unit was gone. It took me a moment to realize that someone had stolen it, and likely tried to steal the Sirius also, but gave up and left it not working.

After having filed a police report with the friendly officer who arrived about 2 minutes after I called the police, I headed out to the mall with my scratched glasses. I was so confident they could just buff out the scratches, forgetting, of course, that glasses are no longer made from glass and can't be buffed. Although I had bought insurance, it covers only half of the cost of replacing the lenses. Because my glasses are the sort that get darker in the sun and have anti-glare coating, it is will take them a week to get my lenses made. The lenses are $170 even with the insurance.

I've yet to even think about how much it may cost to get my satellite radio fixed and replace the GPS. Decidedly not worth filing an insurance claim though with a $500 deductible.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Watching the fireworks

Alec and Lindsay

Lauren and Grampie

The fireworks


Lauren and Grampie watching fireworks

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Confirming what I already knew to be true

Lindsay took 2 steps yesterday. Of course I didn't see this happen. Of course it wasn't documented for posterity with pictures and video. She took 2 steps to reach something on the coffee table, gave Alec an "ooh, you caught me" glance, and promptly fell on her butt.

She's been walking this whole time. I just know it.

And if she's anything like her older sister, it will be a week before she attempts this again. That's just long enough to stop remembering to always have a camera handy.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Drive-thru therapy

There seem to be an abundance of therapists here. Perhaps it can be surmised that having so many therapists that is addressing a need, or perhaps the inverse is true and we're just that evolved. You can select one of those conclusions, or feel free to substitute your own...

There's a therapist's office on Third Ave that looks like a converted store front with huge windows. I've noticed it, and thought it was a bit odd. What struck me was that it's next door to a taxi depot, so I've often wondered how many people run out of therapy and grab a cab out of town. My friend Nick pointed something out that is decidedly more strange. The therapists don't close the blinds when they're in session. "You pass by, and then you know which of your friends and neighbors are in therapy," he remarked.

What struck me when I moved back East was that people often talk about therapy. Some just that they're doing it, others what they work on there. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being in therapy, I just never know what the proper response is. Lately I've gone with "That's great. Good for you for taking care of yourself". It seems to make the person I'm talking to feel good, so I'm sticking with it.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Fourth of July

The party winds down, as seen by Lauren:

Epiphany tells a story


I love how this looks like Sybil's having visions.


Lauren and Karen

Just say No, Gabba Gabba

I know. I know. This is a cheap shot. This show called "Yo Gabba Gabba" will be airing on Nick, Jr., in the next couple of weeks. What the heck is the one-eyed monster?

Very disturbing.

Does it actually have nubbies? Like, for her pleasure?

Ew.

Monday, July 02, 2007

The long, hard path

I don't write about this a lot. It's not really mine to write about, and yet there are days the pain is so raw that I feel like any second I will collapse in tears. Sometimes a few tumble out unexpected, without provocation.

My sister is back on the long, hard path to recovery. She is back where she's measured and monitored. She has checked herself into in-patient treatment for her eating disorder.

If you have words of hope to share with her, please email me and I'll send along her mailing address. She can use every bit of strength this time, her third time in the hospital - another long stay. I know you may not know her personally, but even if you can send a postcard to remind her that she deserves to get better, and that there are so many people who love her.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Strange days indeed

For The New Girl who is dreading the long hours of the night as a new mom, Lindsay at one of her best moments:

Lindsay and Lauren, June 2006

Lauren's thinking, Can we send her back now? I think it was about this time that she asked if could bring her back to the hospital yet.

I'd love to say the days are full of sunshine and rainbows, but they're not. They are usually are at least a bit better than this...