Just kidding

Apparently I just have to write that I might be on hiatus and then I suddenly have a lot to say.

Last night was Ash Wednesday, so we were at church. Lauren found out that the pastors' kids were playing in the nursery during the service, so since I was singing in choir and Linds was going there anyway, I dropped her off there.

"Hey, Olivia is here."

"Of course she is."

"Mom, did you know that Pastor Patty is Olivia's mom?"

"Actually Olivia has two moms."

"Oh!" she said. "I have two dads."

"Um. No, you don't."

"Yeah," she said thoughtfully, "Alec is my dad, but God is also my father."

"Oh...huh. I guess I hadn't thought of that," I said.

***

Lindsay sang the Not Perfect song at Lauren.

"I'm not perfect," replied Lauren. "But you're not perfect either, Lindsay."

"I AM PERFECT," she shouted.

"No, you're not," Lauren sang.

"I AM PERFECT!!!"

"No, Lindsay, the only perfect person is Jesus." Lauren explained.

"AND LINDSAY!"

Extracurricular

I bought a book at the beginning of the school year with activities in it geared toward the first grader. As with so many things, I had good intentions. A way to feed Lauren's intellectual curiosity. The book had remained until yesterday on the shelf in the downstairs bathroom.

We were sitting together at the dining room table, she with pencil and homework package. Every week they receive this - a list of spelling words with spelling exercises and a few pages of to drill whatever math skill they're working on. I sat reviewing my philosophy essays, writing things like Anselm: God is something that which nothing greater can be conceived.

"What's in the 'Everything Your First Grader Should Know' book?"

"Lessons about different subjects."

"Can we do one?" She set down her pencil. "I only have one more sentence and one more page of math."

"Sure." I retrieved the book. "What subject? Oh, how about Art?"

"Really?! Art is in there? That's so cool!"

We read about color and looked at a painting by Monet next to another by Whistler, and at the end of the lesson, the assignment was to draw something twice - first in bright, vibrant colors and then in dark, somber colors.

She probably spent an hour working on these two. We talked about which one she liked better, though I think you can probably tell by the grinning sun...

For the time capsule

"Com'on Wa-Ren lets pway I spy. I say, 'I spy wid my widdle eye...somsing...bwue.' Wa-Ren! How come you not guessin'? I sayed 'I spy wid my widdle eye...' Wa-Ren!!! I SPY WID MY WIDDLE EYE!!!"

Secret mucus

Wow, that's even a double entendre.

Lindsay has been announcing all day, "Yellow cheese has a secret!" I'm telling the Internet - the secret is cheese. I have no idea what that means.

Lauren brought home a book today about the common cold. She did an impressive job reading about viruses and bacteria. One of the ways your body heals itself is by producing extra mucus. Lauren asked, "What's mucus?" "Snot." I replied. She looked utterly horrified and disgusted. I think if the next sentence in the book hadn't been about ushering germs out your nose via the extra mucus, she wouldn't have believed me.