Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I posted last week about being frustrated my washing machine has a broken part. It turns out last week also saw a shelf in my brand-spanking-new (well, Mudda bought it for me in August) refrigerator, and the keyfob for my car. The shelf and keyfob were not more than a hassle, really. Remember when we used to use a key to get into a car? Well, I had to use my key. I'd not noticed until now that there's only one keyed entry on the car - the driver's side - and not into the passenger door or the trunk, as I recall on my vehicles made before 1990.

Lindsay had a nap, and awoke grumpy. I was carrying Linds under an arm, kicking and screaming, along with her shoes. I had my denim jacket with my keys in the pocket under my other arm. I realized I had to set Lindsay, still screaming down, to get the keys out of my pocket. I did, picked her up and went to unlock the door with the key. Somehow I managed to set off the panic system, so the horn began beeping and all the lights flashing. Without a working keyfob, there's no way to turn it off.

Beep beep beep, honked the car as I unlocked the doors. Beep beep beep, as I put Lindsay into her carseat, no longer kicking and screaming, but with wide eyes. Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. I started the car. Beep beep beep. Locked and unlocked. Beep beep beep. I stepped away from the car and called the service center. Beep beep beep. There's no off switch. Beep beep beep. "Maybe it will work over the phone if you call your husband?" Beep beep beep. Neighbors have begun gathering in my driveway, making their own suggestions of Alfredo who replaces watch batteries. But now it is 3:15 and I am late to get Lauren. "Can I drive the car with it going off?" I asked the mechanic impatiently. "You will probably get pulled over." He replied. "Well, I can live with that," I replied.

"They'll hear ya comin'," my neighbor Ed added helpfully.

As it turned out, the horn stopped beeping once the car was in drive, and as long as you didn't open or close a door, or put the car into park, the car was silent. Of course, I had to open the door to let Lauren in, and a small crowd gathered to see why some maniac mom was honking her horn and flashing her lights. Beep beep beep. I rolled down the window, "My car is broken, so sorry," I shouted at the staring crowd who nodded sadly in reply. Beep beep beep. "It's been doing this for a half hour now," I added. Beep beep beep.

I drove the car to the dealership. My new friend Stu the mechanic gave my girls each a package of cookies, replaced the batteries in my fob, and set us off on our merry way within 30 minutes, all for no charge.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Signs of the apocalypse

I am the Queen of the Mommy Driveby. My youngest child is often shoe-less (who knew so many people were offended by tiny bare feet?) and coatless.

Today, not one, but TWO people complimented my parenting.

People? The world is ending. Take cover!

I stopped to get a cup of coffee as I was leaving the grocery store. Linds was in the cart, parked a couple feet behind me. A woman, decked out in jogging gear was behind me in line. I turned to check on Lindsay, and she said, "Your daughter doesn't know her name."

I thought, um, no she doesn't know you. But instead said, "Lindsay is feeling shy today," and smiled goodbye, as I headed to put some milk in my coffee.

An older Asian man approached me, "You are an excellent mother!"

I must've looked shocked. "Thank you." I said, uncomfortably.

"I heard you talking to your daughter before," he said, "It is so smart you are teaching her not to talk to strangers!"

"Oh. Thanks," I replied. "Have a nice day!" I quickly put the lid on my coffee and we headed to the car. Linds and I discussed the groceries as I loaded them in. She wanted a strawberry and some crackers. I handed her the strawberry, which she quickly de-stemmed, and tucked the box of crackers under my arm as I buckled her into her car seat. Then I opened the box and handed to her.

"Wow, you really need an extra arm, don't you?"

I looked up at the woman getting out of her car opposite mine.

"Oh, ha ha." I replied.

"Unloading groceries, getting the kid in the seat, and giving her a snack at the same time."

"An extra arm would be really great!" I agreed. "Have a good day!" I said quickly running the shopping cart to its corrale.

Seriously. If you have a storm cellar, you might want to head down there now...

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Sounds from Chez Stoll

*crashing sound of Lindsay taking the drawer of markers out of Lauren's plastic storage drawers*

*Lauren running in from the dining room* "Linds, are you OK?"

"Yep. Got the markers."

"Cool! Come on, SuperLindsay!"

"I want to be a Superpony..."

"Alright, come on, SuperponyLindsay, let's go color!"


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Learning things with Lindsay

Today we made our weekly trek to Target. It was ostensibly to get paper which I ran out of in the middle of helping Alec with 4 months' worth of expense reports, maple syrup, and apple juice. Lauren let me know if I was going to Target, she'd finished the "Ivy and Bean" book I'd bought her there, and if they have more, she'd like another one (or Captain Underpants...though she was sure I'd gotten those at the church thrift shop, and we discovered I'd gotten one that she hadn't read...ooh!).

Lindsay and I have been working on a couple of things - letters and potty. She's not vaguely interested in either. Yesterday, she managed to go about 2 hours (from an hour before dinner time until bath time) wearing and not peeing on Elmo underpants, but insisted on her Dora pull-ups this morning (ah well). While perusing the "young children's educational" section, she chose a book called "Dora and the Different Colored Easter Eggs" which teaches colors in English and Spanish. Unfortunately, I only know how to pronounce the primary colors in Spanish. Luckily, the very helpful Target staff was willing to help out (talk about a full service operation!)

And speaking of learning things, I found this note after Lindsay and I took a nap yesterday:

"I am allone downstairs. Please come and see me when you wake up!"

It was written very neatly on an unlined notecard in pencil. Although there was a mispelled word (though it might be that she combined "all" and "alone"), the capitalization and punctuation were both correct...