Having her cake (and eating it too)

Happy birthday, Lindsay

Lindsay Alexandra Stoll, 5/21/2006

This is Lindsay's birth story, which you may opt not to read. I wrote it in an email to a friend a few days after Lindsay was born.

At 8 PM Saturday evening, I went into the hospital having contractions every 2-5 minutes, but since there was not an unbearable amount of pain, I fully expected to be evaluated and sent home. Since I was 36 weeks, 6 days, I was sent to the Preterm Evaluation Treatment Unit where they monitored my contractions and blood pressure for 3 hours. At 11 PM, the resident OB said I had progressed from 60 to 90% effacement and 3 to 4 cm, and was waiting for instruction from my doctor. He arrived a few minutes later, and said that my blood pressure had climbed to 150 over 85, and my platelet count was low (edited to add: I had preeclampsia with my pregnancy with Lauren and was put on magnesium sulfate because my OB was concerned my blood pressure had climbed so high I would have a seizure.) He said "I think you're ready to be done with this, and really, I'd rather move things along too". I nodded emphatically.

We were then moved to an L&D room. Doc came in around 12:30 AM and said that he was going to break my bag of waters to move things along, and if that didn't help, we'd start pitocen. I let my nurse know I was DEFINITELY going to want an epidural, and if we started the pitocen, I wanted the epi first. About an hour later, between various animal noises (mostly mooing) of pain, I asked for the epidural, was found to be at 5 cm, and pit was started a few minutes after the anesthesiologist administered the epi. I instantly felt better.

Around 5:45, Doc checked me and said I was 9 1/2 cm dialated and I should let him know when I was ready to push. I don't know if this was because I knew I was still at station -1 when last checked, but I really felt the baby dropping rapidly at this point. When I called everyone back in at 6:50, my doc said I was fully dialated, at +3, and that this was going to go really fast once I started pushing. Lindsay was born at 7:11, kicking and screaming, was weighed in at 6 lbs 9 oz and measured 19 inches.

My note continues about my struggles with breastfeeding, and how awed I was that Lindsay would sleep 4 hours at a stretch at only a few days old. When people with toddlers talk about sleep, I am always apologetic because for the most part, Lindsay goes to bed at 8 PM and we don't hear from her until 6:30 or 7 AM. She still takes almost a 3 hour nap every afternoon. I explain that there's nothing I've done special to foster this, she sleeps because she likes to sleep.

A little tear

"Your Birthday Girl pin that Auntie Jules gave you is out on your bureau."

"Yeah. I thought my sister might want to wear it on Wednesday, and I didn't want to forget so I put it out early."

Ohhh. "That was good thinking."

"I figured since she was going to be 2, she could probably take care of it for me."

You saw it here first

Yippee ki yay

Both girls wore pink cowboy boots today, so the title seems apt.

I went shopping for Lauren yesterday since she suddenly outgrew all her size 4 shirts last week. Have I mentioned lately how I heart The Children's Place Outlet? I spent $118 and bought 6 t-shirts, 2 tank tops, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 skirts, a bucket hat, 6 pairs of socks and 2 jammies for Lindsay. I wouldn't have done that well at Target and the clothes wouldn't have held up for hand-me-downs. And everything is mix-and-match in bright orange, pink, and deep purple.

I am trying to get motivated to go to yoga this morning, after not having been to the gym since before we went on vacation. I am really suffering with allergies today, and I can't take anything for them because the side effects are worse than the untreated symptoms for me. Yoga after a few weeks' break is always difficult, but I really need to get gym time back into my routine and find a balance with that and outdoor exercise because on days like today I think, "Oh, I just want to walk outside". I'm also anticipating a huge Lindsay fit at the sitter because she's no longer accustomed to it. Fun stuff.

With no end in sight

"Come on. Wan cracker peas."

"Oh, you want a cracker? Let's go to the kitchen!"

"Yes! Come on, Mama!" She stops in front of the microwave. "Wan banana peas."

"You want a banana? Oh ok." I hand her the peeled banana.

"San queue. An cracker too."

"Bananas and crackers?" I remove a whole graham cracker and break it into two bits. "Here you go, monkey."

"Yes, yes, yes." She sings, bending her knees and bouncing.

While I was excited to see that the district is planning paid whole day Pre-K next year, Alec let me know this morning that it says, "This may be the last year we offer free half-day pre-K." I started grumbling because I'd have to work in order to afford that, and the program is 2 1/2 hours a day, making it impossible to work. Somehow knowing there was available albeit for pay full day Pre-K and then all day kindergarten after that put the end in sight for me 2 1/2 years from now.

I love being home with the kids, and I find it hard and tedious. There are plenty of days I wish I could escape to a desk and grown-up conversation that doesn't involve milestones and sleep methods. I am trying to be enthusiastic about the upcoming summer, but really I don't know how I will cope without my 2-hour breaks in the afternoon where I can actually get laundry done uninterrupted.

Maybe my attitude is just about its Monday and my house, as it is on Mondays, is completely trashed and there are 4 loads of laundry and unmade beds, and all I want to do is go back to sleep.

Some photos

Today as the not-so-little girl walked in front of me with her long legs in pink cowboy boots (props to Karen) I realized with a twinge of sadness that our days of holding hands walking on the sidewalk were over, as her cool palm and long slender fingers slid out of my own. There are still things that remind me of that adorable 3-year-old obsessed with all things pink: the coat, the princess backpack, and the aforementioned boots, but at 5 1/2, her vernacular is rid of toddler words and mixed tenses. In a few short weeks, she will be done with Kindergarten and off to the wilds of numbered grades.
Lindsay sports her new backpack and sun hat. It occurred to me that if I bought her a yellow hat, she might actually wear it unlike her sister's handed down pink hat which periodically gets thrown out of the stroller. Her monkey backpack is a restraint system. Yes, a toddler leash. Lindsay is far more interested in walking at nearly 2 than Lauren, and too young to understand that running at the street is unsafe. I didn't think I'd leash my kid, but then, by the time Lauren walked she was old enough to reason. She was super cooperative today at Target and sat still while I checked out with the promise of a shortbread cookie from Starbucks. She even walked up the stairs nicely to have a story before nap time. "You can choose the story." "Okay, Mommy."

My best early Mother's Day present from Lauren's All About Me workbook:

When I grow up...

I am going to be a mom.

A sentence about my family...

I love my mom!

All things yellow

Alec: I think Lindsay has a favorite color.

Heather: She is a little obsessed with all things yellow.

Alec: I noticed. I think we know what we have to get for her birthday.

Heather: [...]

Alec: Something yellow?

Ridiculous conversations

"What if Mother's Day were like Christmas and if you were bad you got a bag of coal?"

"It would be like, score - heating for a month! - and damn, better luck next year."

"Dear son, Thank you for your Mother's Day present, and sorry I suck. Love, your mom."

"I wonder if Hallmark makes that card."

Learning new things every day

Lindsay recently learned her colors. She is about 80% naming what you indicate, sometimes I think she tells you what color she would like it to be. She also has learned to ask for 2 of something. "Do you want a cracker?" "No. I want 2 crackers."

Because 2 crackers is better. Or we need one for each hand. I don't know. It seems her answer to everything is "No" even when it's yes because of some other attached instruction.

"Pick fower."

"The pink one?"

"No, lellow fower."

"This yellow one?"

"No. Two lellow fower. Lion an that one."

It took a while to determine "That one" was a buttercup. Not 2 dandelions. At playgroup, we had about a half dozen tantrums and exercised the word "Mine" a lot. "My fiiiitruck. Mine!" It had been a while since I'd been - and I was sort of pleased to hear they are planning to change the day of the week for fall, so that Lindsay and I won't have to skip yoga to go like we did this morning.

Oh my word

"Chickens are oviparous," Lauren explained to her sister.

"They are what?" I asked.

"Oviparous."

"What does that mean?"

"It means hatched from an egg."

My mouth forms a round "Oh" rather like an egg. I Google to confirm. Yep. My daughter is officially smarter than me. Or is that I?

I have baked more these past few days than I can remember. Pizza? Oh my word so good with some olive oil, fresh garlic, and minced clams. Brownies? Why did we get convinced that it was hard to make them? It took 2 minutes to throw together a perfect medium between fudgy and cake-like. Our freezer holds 2 loaves of frozen bread, a gallon ziplock full of french toast for quick breakfast, and tonight's addition - curried lentils with cauliflower and sweet potato. I made another double batch of gelato. The only failed experiment was the oatmeal bars stuck to the Pyrex. Tonight I made fruit and nut bars with strawberry jam and almonds. I have three dinners in my fridge, so I will actually have a night off from cooking tomorrow.

If Lindsay uses the word oviparous even in her typical three-word sentences, I probably will run screaming into the night.