Thursday, April 23, 2009

Epiphany's Earth Day

I'm in a bit of a mood right now. Linds just threw up her breakfast, which was oatmeal and orange juice which I have to say has to have the foulest smell and most disgusting texture of anything that could come out of a person. And? This was INSIDE the couch. Who sits inside a couch? Lindsay. Also? If you have Method products while they may kill ants, they absolutely don't touch something that stinks. I sprinkled some lavendar essential oil but really it is just adding to the awful smell.

Oh, and? Small child who dropped my hairbrush in the potty (the only reason I can fathom why the hairbrush and now MY HAIR smell like pee), Mama says, "grr".

Yesterday, I had to take the Mazda to the dealer to have one of my airbags replaced. It was not functioning properly, but did not deploy. It meant I had to leave my car most of the day, but since it was a warrantee repair, I was rented a free car from Enterprise. The well-dressed young man (they really have a very snazzy staff there) picked me up, helped me move my two car seats, and entertained Lindsay while I installed them. He was entirely smitten with Lindsay, who in typical Lindsay fashion refused to speak with him and would only shake her head. It went something like this:

"It's nice to meet you, Lindsay. You can call me "E". "

Lindsay shook her head.

"Can you shake my hand?"

Lindsay shook her head.

"Are you excited to ride in my silver car with your Mommy?"

Lindsay shook her head.

When we got to the office, things remained terse.

"Do you want to get the white car," he pointed, "Or that big black one?"

Lindsay shook her head.

I completed the paperwork to rent the white Corolla. E vacuumed it and moved the carseats into it for me. As I installed Lindsay's seat, he said, "Well, it was nice meeting you, Lindsay - I hope I see you later. Will you wave goodbye?"

Lindsay shook her head.

Things didn't improve when I returned with both girls later.

"Hey, Lindsay. Welcome back! Can I get a wave?"

Lindsay shook her head.

"Is that your sister?"

Lindsay shook her head.

"Would you like a little rubber car? I have one for your sister..."

Lindsay shook her head.

"Alright, well. Maybe another time."

Her face crumpled and lower lip began to quiver. Suddenly, she was shrieking, and of course, poor E felt terrible. He tried to hand her the car, but she only would agree for him to give me the car and she took it from me, still sniffling. Despite this, E drove me back to the dealership and offered to keep the kids in the car with him while I ran into to sign the paperwork and pick up my keys. When I returned, Lindsay threw her car at E, and Lauren was kicking the back of his chair. I found out later that they were playing keep away with the rubber cars, this was after Lauren erupted into tears that he took her car away, and when I put Lindsay into her seat in my car, she asked, "Is E coming with us?"

Poor E.


Foursons said...

Happened upon your blog, loved the top post so much that I read all the way down the page! Your life sounds soooo familiar! Nothing better than a little humor to get through the day with kids.

karen said...

Poor E indeed! That guy either has a heart of pure gold or is well on his way to an impressive case of cirrhosis.

LMP said...

I am impressed with Karen's ability to spell "cirrhosis". I usually get started but ultimately go with "liver disease" to be safe. I cannot spell.

Regarding Poor E, Sarah pulls that same crap all the time.

The Plaid Sheep said...

He seems to have been a glutton for punishment. If the kid is unresponsive just leave her alone for goodness sake. I find that adults who try very hard to be good with kids usually fail miserably. Kids can smell the need.