Me: Will you say hi to my grandmother on the phone?
Lindsay: Mom (putting her hand up), I can't. Rockstars don't talk on the phone.
Me (talking into the phone): Sorry, Mimi. Lindsay won't say hi.
Lauren: There's this thing that bugs do.
Me: What's that?
Lauren: Well, with people we call it marrying. But with bugs it's called mating. You know what else?
Me (cringing inwardly): What else?
Lauren: Bugs can't mate with their mama bugs, just like I can't marry my mama.