Conversations you never thought you'd have to have with your seven year old daughter

There's a spa in town that has a big sign on the front window. They list their prices and services, and that they have organic products for sale. The big sign suggests that after you have your bikini wax, you might want to vagazzle.

Yes. Really. Vagazzle.

We are walking to the sushi place for dinner. It's just the three of us, since Lauren is away.

Lindsay inquires, naturally, "What's vagazzle?"

Alec clucks and says nothing. I stiffle a giggle, and take a deep breath. "They glue sparkly gems on your private parts."

Lindsay makes a face. "Why would you pay someone for that?"

"That's a good question, Linner," Alec says, "Why would you pay for that, Mommy?"

"I wouldn't pay for it. It sounds uncomfortable."

"Daddy, can you get vagazzled?"

"No, Linner. I don't have a vag."

"Oh, do they call it a penazzle?"

Alec and I both start laughing. We can't stop. Finally, I say, "This is probably the most awkward and inappropriate conversation ever."

Lindsay says, "Seriously, I don't know why you would pay for that."