Lauren (to someone's mom who just arrived): Will your son play with me?
Someone's Mom (in a thick accent): Yes.
Lauren: May I touch your baby?
Baby smiles and coos at Lauren.
Someone's Mom: No. The baby is sleeping.
Lauren: Uhhh. Ok.
Someone's Mom sidles up next to me. "You go to church?"
"You have a babysitter?"
Oh yeah, right, lady. You already lied to my kid in front of me. "Uh, yes. Thanks. You enjoy your day!"