Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Letting go

Some say love is holding on
and some say letting go
Some say love is everything
and some say they don't know
lyrics by John Denver

I lost my job yesterday. I'd felt for a while it was coming. The company has grown, departments formed, and they don't want independent contractors anymore. I guess the combination of this and a phone call from my sister's frazzled case manager left me feeling really unbloggable. I'm struggling a bit today, knowing that another day just makes it easier to avoid.

No, I don't know where she is. I'm not her keeper. I am barely managing to keep myself these days.

Sit in a comfortable cross-legged position, open palms rest on your knees.

I don't even know how you struggle against that. That's just yoga. I was late today after I realized my car was nearly out of gas, and a mile from the gym the alarm went off that I had 10 miles until empty. I stopped at the gas station at the corner. I had exactly 7 minutes to get filled up (in Jersey, we can't pump our own gas), park, get Lindsay signed into babysitting, and unfurl my cold yoga mat. I made it breathless to the third floor, kicked off my Converse All Stars, peeled off my coat, and sat down still wearing my socks.

So many things I need to think about...

To rethink.

Doors have to close for other ones to open. I know this.

2 comments:

Mimi Lenox said...

I'm sorry to hear this.
But Epiphany, I've got to say....I admire your resilience. Always have. I think the power of overcoming setbacks is the ability to embrace the moment (as you do so honestly on your blog) and wade on through it one step at a time.

Resilience (Wiki): 1. the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

I think I saw your pic beside the definition in Wiki!

Go on with your Yoga self.

naviwilliams said...

I, too, I'm sorry to hear this! But, to be honest, from reading your Blog over the past year, you'll get through this...

I know it may hurt now, but in time you'll be laughing about this 'experience'...

As my Mum always says, "God is love"...