Letting go

Some say love is holding on
and some say letting go
Some say love is everything
and some say they don't know

lyrics by John Denver

I lost my job yesterday. I'd felt for a while it was coming. The company has grown, departments formed, and they don't want independent contractors anymore. I guess the combination of this and a phone call from my sister's frazzled case manager left me feeling really unbloggable. I'm struggling a bit today, knowing that another day just makes it easier to avoid.

No, I don't know where she is. I'm not her keeper. I am barely managing to keep myself these days.

Sit in a comfortable cross-legged position, open palms rest on your knees.

I don't even know how you struggle against that. That's just yoga. I was late today after I realized my car was nearly out of gas, and a mile from the gym the alarm went off that I had 10 miles until empty. I stopped at the gas station at the corner. I had exactly 7 minutes to get filled up (in Jersey, we can't pump our own gas), park, get Lindsay signed into babysitting, and unfurl my cold yoga mat. I made it breathless to the third floor, kicked off my Converse All Stars, peeled off my coat, and sat down still wearing my socks.

So many things I need to think about...

To rethink.

Doors have to close for other ones to open. I know this.