Tuesday, November 06, 2007

A bird in the house is worth how many in the bush?

Yes, you read that right. Sitting eating lunch with Lindsay yesterday, I'll admit I was a bit preoccupied. I was probably reading and eating, or chatting and eating. Although the jingle of Lauren's wind chimes in her room struck me as strange since I knew the windows were all closed, it didn't register there might be something amiss.

After Lindsay decimated her cream cheese sandwich, I scooped her up to put her down for a nap upstairs. As I turned into her bedroom, something flew past my head, brushing my ear. I screamed, ran downstairs and out of the house. Breathing fast, I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket. It appeared I didn't have the number for animal control programmed into my phone, but the non-emergency police number would do.

"Hi, this is Detective Scott..."

"Hi. This is Epiphany Alone and I live at this address. There's something flying around my second floor..."

"Uh...something?"

"I don't know if it was a bird or a bat...I screamed and ran..."

She laughed.

"No, seriously. I have no idea what it was, I just got out of there with my baby."

"Ok, I will send a patrol car over..."

The 7-foot tall policeman wasn't as amused that now he had to go upstairs, open a window, and shoo the bird out of the house. He did so as politely as he could muster, though he did quietly wonder aloud why I couldn't have just opened a window myself.

"It's all set, ma'am," he said, handing me a bird poop-stained towel.

"Thanks very much." I said.

2 comments:

Kicking N. Screaming said...

We've gotten the occasional chimney sweep in through, naturally, the chimney. When they realize they're inside with a dog and a cat and small children it literally scares the shit out of them. That's the downside to having a bird loose in the house...

karen said...

By the way, the EBH is a little miffed you called the cops instead of him. I pointed out that he was at work at the time of the bird incident and he practically shouted, "But I'm CLOSER to their house when I'm at work!"