A moment of total spazz

Believe it or not, this isn't the first time this expression came up this week. On Tuesday, before Lindsay's bloodwork didn't happen, I'd thought I'd locked my keys in the car. My keyfob has been behaving unpredictably these days, and though I hit the button to unlock all the doors and trunk, the car responded by unlocking only the driver door and the truck. I closed the trunk, leaving my keys inside, and found it locked. A glance at the back doors revealed they were locked. I was on the phone with the locksmith when I realized the driver door wasn't locked.

Today, it is terrifically humid. I turned of my air conditioners last night and opened the windows, anticipating the cool down after the storm. The air has been on so many days now that it's stale in the house. It hasn't cooled down, and there's no breeze despite the rain.

I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around myself and noticed the doorknob wouldn't turn. It was as though it was locked from the other side. I sighed. Who is around today who could come over and free me from the bathroom, which possibly needs its knob removed and can get in despite my house is still locked down from last night, I thought. Oh I am such an idiot, I didn't bring my cellphone in with me! Um, who the Hell brings a cellphone in the bathroom to take a shower?!

I have to somehow get Lauren upstairs from the sun porch. Then get her to find a name in the phone, click send, and communicate to some unfortunate friend of mine that I'm locked in my own bathroom. It could be an hour before she gets distracted enough from playing that she wanders up here to let me know she's hungry for breakfast, bored with Barbie, or that the light is off in the downstairs bathroom.

Just as my mind reeled into a full panic, I tried the doorknob again and it opened.