Explosive situations

I've shared with you, dearest Internet, that I swear prolifically. At my last job, it was remarked upon occasionally by my Quaker cubemate. Considering my boss swore like an Armenian sailor, I wasn't too concerned about the impact it might have on my job. I mean, really. Everyone has potty mouth in advertising.

I try to curtail my R-rated language around my kids. I don't always succeed.

My parents almost never swore in my recollection. My mother's language only becomes colorful after a few drinks. She relished to tell the story wherein your heroine drove home from her job in the City with 2-year-old Lauren in tow yelling "Hafta potty! Hafta potty!". As soon as Lauren's feet hit the driveway, she piddled into her shoes. Looking down at the growing puddle, she muttered, exasperated, "Oh...shit."

Lauren at age 2.

Today, we walked to daycare hand in hand. Lindsay was asleep in the snugli. She recounted a story about how one of her teachers said a bad word and told a student to shut up.

"We know that's not a very nice thing to say," I replied.

"Right." Lauren said. "Which is why the next time she does it, I'm going to fuck her up."

Now, dear Internet, I will admit to dropping my fair share of F-bombs, but I can't even think of a single time I've used that particular expression. So the first thought I had was Good usage. Lauren says "telled" instead of "told" and "holded" instead of "held", but she hit this one solidly. Oh, right. I am supposed to be parenting. "That isn't a good thing to say either," I said. "It isn't polite."

"Oh. Ok, Mom."

Here's where we usually have a conversation about what we say politely instead. As for the first example where it is impolite to tell someone to shut up, we might politely as them to be quiet, please. I said, "In that situation, rather than messing her up," I didn't repeat the offending word here, "you might remind her to ask someone nicely to be quiet."

"That's a good idea, Mom."