Redacted

Ok, the matching dresses are pretty cute...and this picture is a good example of why it's fun to have girls. Don't you love the dress over jeans look? Lindsay helping big sis with her shoes. Ten dollars says this picture is blown up at Lauren's wedding...

Mama and Lin

Here we are, about to head out and get Lauren at the bus stop. I guess she does kind of look like me these days.

And, yeah, I know they wear a lot of Hallowe'en stuff. What fun is October if you can't wear spooky pajamas? Even if you are too young to know what they are...

Lauren riding Snowball

Lauren, October 2006

Lauren had a pony ride on Sunday when we visited Giamarese Farm. We've been there several times over the past 3 years for the autumnal hayrides, pumpkin picking, and great farmstand.

Voracious little eater

Alec feeding Lindsay, October 2006

"I want to do it myself!"

Lessons in Spanish

Today, we went to Target to buy Lindsay a Bumbo seat, simply because Cecily from Wasted Birth Control has one for Tori. It's a great little chair, and perfect for our cereal experiment today.

There's a Starbucks inside the Target on Route 529 in Piscataway, and we always stop for a little treat afterwards. I ordered a grande iced coffee with a shot of hazelnut syrup, and Lauren chose a vanilla milk for herself.

"A grande coffee?" Lauren asked. "Is that what you ordered?"

"Yep."

"That makes sense." Lauren said. "You are grande and I am pequeño."

"Right! Good job speaking Spanish."

"Oh, I know, Mom."

The cereal experiment was great fun during dinner. Lauren and I had chicken stirfry with fresh veggies and ramen in a lemon zest ginger soy sauce, and Lindsay had a scant teaspoon of single grain barley cereal in about an ounce of milk. She ate voraciously, at times trying to take the spoon out of my hand and do it herself...and at the end she was looking for more.

The girls

Lauren and Lindsay, October 2006

This post brought to you by Auntie Helen

When I was a kid, we used to look forward to Auntie Helen's visits. Helen is actually my great aunt, my grandmother's sister. She would stay with Gramma Jean for some weeks in the summer, and then head back home to New York City.

She taught us to play Gin Rummy, her Viceroy cigarette dangled from her lips as she spoke. She was one of the few adults who would indulge us for hours playing games with us in Gramma's pool. She wore a white bathing cap strapped under her chin not to spoil her always very blonde hair.

There was a game we'd play in the pool, she'd bounce us on a knee and sort of sing/howl:

Ponygirl ponygirl
Wontcha be my ponygirl
Giddyup whoa, don't say no
Come and ride with me
Giddyup giddyup giddyup whoa!
Come be my ponygirl

A quick Google search reveals these aren't actually the lyrics, but that's what she sang.

Every night, the girls and I get into the bath together. I started the tradition when my pregnant belly prohibited my leaning over our large porcelain tub. Now, Lindsay gets bathed first, then Lauren. When it's time for me to take Lin out, we sing the Ponygirl song to her. We sing very out of tune. She giggles and splashes.

Morning announcements

"Mommy, this is called zydeco music," she said, pointing at the Sesame Street gang decked out in their cowboy hats.

"Sure is."

"Do we like that?"

"Sure, zydeco music is kind of fun. Daddy likes the accordion."

I am happily feeling refreshed this morning after Lindsay ate every 20 minutes from 8:30 until 10:30 PM, and which point she fell asleep. I snuck upstairs at 11, figuring I ought to catch a couple hours of sleep before the next session. Miraculously, it didn't happen until six blessed thirty. Lauren padded in with Turtle and Elephant (all of the stuffies from her babyhood have utilitarian names). When I lifted her bangs to examine her forehead, they still look like mosquito bites, so I'm going to assume that's what they are.

Every day the past 2 weeks has been "wear a color" day at school as the kids are learning about primary colors and how they blend to create other colors. Thanks to Lars, Lauren is the only girl who had appropriately colored clothes on orange day (Tuesday) and black day (today). She announced yesterday that Ms Murphy helped her write her name because she knows how to spell it L-A-U-R-E-N. She was pleased to graduate from "making her own L".

My girls and their bright eyes

Lindsay and Lauren, September 2006

Mama's eye view

The Stoll Posse

We all have the same nose!

Mama looks tired, but happy

Jersey girl

We had yummy beef stroganoff and cauliflower au gratin with Karen, Chris, Ross, and Lars last night. Lindsay seems to have developed a large crush on Lars. Whenever you say his name, she looks at him and grins.

Karen commented last night that her boys sound Jersey. It is coming up on 2 years I've lived here,and already my ears are muting out what was a distinct regionalism when I first moved in. Ever so much more distinctly I hear my in-laws from New Yawk, my mom with the blendy-schwa goodness of a New England accent, and my sister's rapid fire language is nearly indecipherable. I know my own accent melts into the sounds around it. There are some words I say that sound distinctly Midwestern, and everytime I have a conversation with Mom both my vowels and my "r"s get a little softer.

I was thinking about it as I awoke this morning. Lauren was already up, playing library with the stuff animals in her room. She poked her head in and announced, "Ear and I are in charge of checking out the books."

Ear?

The second time she walked by, this time to retrieve the bathroom stool, I sat up to see she had her great stuffed Eeyore in tow. Ohhhh. E're.

The stinkeye doctor

The eye doctor has a gorgeous office with all new furniture and carpeting and stuff. I spend a lot of my time in doctor's offices. This place was really amazingly brand spanking new and very clean. There were little flip-type coding flaps at the top of each exam room door. When we were brought to the room, the assistant flipped the pink flap over.

The doctor came in and introduced himself. A good deal younger than I thought he would be for how many people have told me how wonderful he is - probably in his mid-forties. He was very good with Lindsay, and Lauren who was in a little snit this morning.

"Hi, I'm the eye doctor. Do you like doctors, Lauren?" he asked, smiling at her.

Lauren glowered back at him. "No. I hate doctors."

He looked surprised. Clearly this is not the answer he usually gets. "Really?" He flipped around Lindsay's chart to see where the assistant noted the girls' pediatrician, but that just seemed to confuse him further.

"Yes. Doctors are mean and nasty." She folded her arms and pouted.

"Oh. Um. Well, eye doctors are fun. Everybody likes eye doctors." he said, smiling again.

Lauren looked at him doubtfully. "Yeh. Well. We'll see."

The eye doctor has this wall of animatronic animals to get kids to look a certain way while he looks at the back of their eyes. Lauren actually stared at it with her mouth agape. And then when he left the room, she spoke of him in dolce tones as though he were some sort of God.

"Did you see," she whispered, "that the pig, Godzilla, and the tiger all danced together?"

Oh my.

We were there for quite a while, because the issue with hemangiomas on the eyelid is that they can cause pressure inside the eye resulting in astigmatism, so his assistant dialated Lin's eyes. She didn't like it much, so I spent a while pacing back and forth. She fell asleep about 5 minutes before he came back in to check her.

So this will be our routine for a while, returning every 2 months for an assessment of growth and pressure.

More coffee

I am very tired this morning. No, I was not up late partying. Oh you! You're so funny.

Lindsay had a reaction to the DTaP vaccination she received on Monday, which wasn't entirely a surprise. Lauren had similar reactions to them: general irritability and a low-grade fever. Lindsay was further made miserable yesterday by cold symptoms: stuffy nose, sneezing, coughing. I gave her Tylenol for the fever, and tried to keep her nose suctioned out. Treating a baby cold is always tough business. They absolutely hate to have stuff put up their little noses. She slept a lot yesterday, but when she was up and trying to eat, she was a fussy little girl.

Her fever broke around 10 PM, and she slept through the night despite Alec's rising at 4 AM to leave for the airport at 4:30 this morning. Lauren climbed in my bed around 6:30 AM and Lindsay slept until nearly 8.

She sounded pretty good when she woke up, but as she ate, she got stuffier. She culminated her first feeding by spitting up, mostly out her nose.

Lauren sounds a little nasal too, but she also is suffering from hayfever. Poor thing is allergic to ragweed and we're getting into the miserable weeks of itchy noses and eyes. She seems a little less drowsy for the Zyrtec therapy this morning.

If you're wondering if Lindsay looks like me

Dad and me, 1975

I haven't any idea when this picture was actually taken. But I saw it and thought, That smile looks pretty familiar.

Come to think of it, I do smell like a monkey

September 19, 1979

I'm 32 years old today. I am writing that because I am one of those people when asked how old I am, there's a long pause even though I could probably tell you how many days old Lindsay is.

When I turned 20, I really thought I had it all figured out. At 32, I feel like I am in a state of constant learning about the world around me, and even myself. I think that's pretty cool.

Lauren

...weighs in at 30 pounds. She is 36 inches tall. She liked it that Nurse Michelle says she is a yard tall.

A yard!

Lauren had to have a shot today called the ProQuad which is MMR and Varicella together...so one vaccine instead of 4. She also had to have a TB test. We have to go back for a flu shot and her second hepatitis A shot. She's going to be a mad little girl by the end of October, but at least we're done until next year.

Her doctor suggested putting her on allergy medication for 6 months to try to desensitize her of her seasonal and indoor allergies. The medication makes her a little sleepy, but it's taken at bedtime, which just means no middle of the night rousing for a while, which frankly sounds pretty nice. The doctor said that after a couple of weeks, she will tolerate the medication better and not be so sleepy.

Lindsay

...weighs in today at 11 pounds, 10 ounces. She's gained a half pound since her last visit to the doctor. She's 23 3/4 inches tall, so she has grown well over an inch and a half. My mom likes to say that babies can't grow in both directions at the same time...so there you are. She got taller this month. Lindsay remains in the 10th percentile for weight and the 5th percentile for height.

The doctor said, "Oh well, your husband is short," as though my genes don't explain both of my daughters' low percentiles for height.

Although they armed me with a sheet of food introduction order, which seems to have relaxed since Lauren was 5 months old, we agreed we'd discuss it again next visit. When Lauren was a baby, food introduction was cereal: oat, rice, multi; orange vegetable and fruit in alternating order, then green vegetables. It was frankly a little like a puzzle we never quite got right, and they'd always say we should've done something else first or whatever. It didn't escape my notice that the food guideline worksheet is published by Gerber.

Unfortunately, Lindsay has thrush again. Seriously annoying. The doctor recommended buying new nipples (I assume he meant for the bottles). I pointed out that she sucks her thumb now and should I worry about her reinfecting herself. So now in addition to yet another round of nystatin for both of us, I have to wash her thumbs several times a day. I am supposed to wash with soap and dry with a hairdryer after every feeding, which just about sounds like the most comical thing ever. Seriously, did anyone else have to go through this? I don't even have any symptoms of a yeast infection...

The R School

Alec and the girls dropped me off at school for class at 9 this morning. At noon when they picked me up, Lauren noticed that this was a different place than they had brought me last time.

"Is this a different school, Mom?"

"Nope, Lauren. This is where Mommy goes to school."

"Oh. This isn't the R school?"

As I looked around campus, I noticed that many of the building doors and windows had the university logo on them, a big red R.

She noticed it too, and began to point. "This is the R school!"

"Oh, yes. This is just a different building. Rutgers has a lot of buildings."

She nodded solemnly.

Later this afternoon, Alec turned on Rutgers v Ohio. When she saw the university logo, she pointed and said, "Mommy's school's playing."

"You're supposed to say 'Go Scarlet Knights'."

"GO Scarlet Knights!!"

Another photo from yesterday

They look a little amused. Lauren has a bad fake smile, and Lindsay's actually about to cry here because she really just wanted to sleep. Lauren was excited because we were going to have dinner at McDonalds. And pretty much chicken nuggets and fries will wipe away an entire afternoon of studying while Lauren picked up buttons.

I finished my 3 chapters of psychology homework. Wow, I really hope the reading isn't going to be so substantive every week, because that was really my limit. I renew my confidence that taking one class this semester was really all I could handle.

Boo boo face

Lindsay at 16 weeks, September 2006

Cloning

Lauren, January 2003

Lindsay, September 2006

Lauren's first day of school

Lauren's first day of school was today. She spent the entire walk down the hallway to her classroom telling me she hates school, and the entire walk back to the car complaining that she never wants to go back. Tell me how miserable she looks...

Lauren, drawing with markers

Lauren, making her pirate hat

Circle time

Story time

In Memory of Jeffrey Patrick Walz

Nine years earlier, Jeffrey Patrick Walz left a promising career as an electrical engineer for the US Navy to become a New York City firefighter, in the path of his father. It was with Ladder 9 Engine 33 in the City’s East Village that Jeff met Rani Lurie – the woman who would later become his wife. It was Hallowe’en, and his department was dispatched to a party she was attending. Their picture was taken together, he in his uniform, she dressed as a Dalmatian.

“The only way to describe Jeff is to say he was the most caring, gentle, kind and patient person every to enter my life.”

Rani Walz, Jeff’s wife.

Jeff and Rani lived in Tuckahoe with their 3-year-old son Bradley, who, after being told they couldn’t have children, was somewhat of a miracle to them. Every Thursday, Jeff’s day off from Ladder 9, he would do something special with his son. They went to nearby Bronx Zoo and Mets stadium, or spent the afternoon at a park. Jeff shared a passion for mountain biking with his older brother, Raymond. He often would ride his bike from his home to the firehouse, a 2-hour trip.

“The bond between brothers is an extraordinary one that can never be broken. His heroic efforts are a testament to the type of man we can all be proud of. I not only lost a terrific brother, but also my best friend.”

Raymond Walz, Jeff’s brother.

“He cherished every possible moment with his family. He was a wonderful husband and father.”

Karen Ciaccio, Jeff’s sister.

Family was tremendously important to Jeff. He cherished his wife and son. He was proud of being a firefighter.

"Jeffrey grew into a very fine young man, not just as a son, but as a brother, husband to his wife, Rani, and most of all, a wonderful father to his son, Bradley,"

Jennie and Raymond Walz, Jeff's parents.

On the morning of September 11, 2001, Ladder 9 was dispatched to the World Trade Center. Jeff did not escape Tower 1 before it collapsed.

Rest in peace.

Lauren is 4

Birthday girl

Jessie, Lauren, and Jessica

It is barely believable that my itty bitty baby Lauren turned 4 today. It seems like yesterday that hollering 4 pound 3 ounce babe was placed on my chest and my life forever changed. And yet, I can barely remember what life was like before her.

September 10, 2002

You are a constantly questioning little person, and while I try to encourage your curiosity, it does get tiring answering all the whys of life. Your life has a soundtrack, and todays was "It's a Bug's World After All".

The dollhouse with rooms furnished by some of Lauren's family, complete with pictures

You and your buddies enjoyed the day. Lars, "That Guy" aka Ross, Ryan, Jack Jack, and your big friend Jessica enjoyed Daddy's barbeque, played on bikes and kicked around balls. 3 of your grandparents - G.G., Grampie Fisher, and Poppy and your 2 stepgrandparents Nanny and Grandpa Paul attended, along with Uncle Ben and Auntie Maria, Uncle Jason and soon-to-be Auntie Janet. Mom and Daddy's friends Karen and Chris, Rebecca, Jessie and Nick also celebrated with us.

Lindsay and Uncle Jason

Uncle Ben and Auntie Maria


Me, Rebecca, Chris, and Karen

G.G. and Grampie Fisher

Alec, grillside

First words?

We all heard her say, very distinctly, "Got it."

The Girls

Lauren and Lindsay, September 2006

Another Mommy drive by

You remember my last Mommy drive by...It was, in fact, the Drive By of the Day yesterday on Mommy Drive By.

Today, I walked Lauren to daycare with Lindsay in the snugli. We haven't gotten to walk there in what seems like weeks because of the constant rain here in Jersey. It's about a 5 minute walk...it actually takes me longer to drive because of the slow light on Raritan and Third Ave and trying to park.

On the way back, I had to stop in at Century 21 to confirm that we are participating in the townwide yard sale on Saturday and to pick up our signs and maps. So I was standing at a light. Lindsay, who holds her head up well now, was front facing and looking around.

An older woman, probably in her 60s smiled at Lindsay.

I smiled back and said hi.

"Boy or girl?" she asked.

"Girl."

"Hard to tell when she's not wearing pink."

"Yep, well. Can't wear pink all the time."

"How old is your baby?"

"About 4 months." I replied.

The woman chuckled, I assume because Lindsay gave her huge grin with raised eyebrows.

Now, although the neighborhoods in Highland Park have huge trees, Raritan Ave is pretty devoid of vegetation, so it was suddenly quite sunny.

"She really needs a hat if you're going to have her out in the sun."

"Uh..." I stammered. Thinking, why no, I didn't grab the hat. It wasn't this sunny a minute ago.

"Well, I hope you're taking her right back to the car..."

"Ah..." I was suddenly walking very fast away from her.

Y'know, I really must look clueless alone with Lindsay. I didn't receive nearly this much parenting advice with Lauren...

Laughing wild

Yes. Samuel Beckett is a little heavy first thing in the morning, particularly after a 3-day weekend.

Moody madness laughing wild amidst severest woe.

Lindsay sat patiently in her bouncy seat while I ate my cereal and drank my coffee. Once I finished the last sip of coffee, she whined loudly. I scooped her up to discover she needed a diaper change.

Newborn Lindsay hated having her diaper off. Currently, she will fuss until her wet or soiled diaper is off, and then as soon as the fresh, new diaper is under her, she smiles as if to say, "Oh you! That's exactly what I wanted."

Today, we waited for Lauren to fetch a clean diaper. Lindsay looked up at me and laughed loudly. A big belly laugh, "Ha ha ha!" I laughed back. She squealed, kicked her feet, and laughed louder, which made me laugh even louder.

The neighbors

Our neighbors across the street are a very tight-knit family. Ed is retired, a former marine. He attacks his suburban life with military efficiency, from placing little gnomes and animals around his garden, to strategically arranging the 4 cars in his driveway to maximize coverage during snowstorms, to decorating precisely 30 days before every holiday. His wife Dotsy is a heavyset woman, also probably in her late fiftees, with long dark hair. His 2 daughters, Heidi and Holly are both grown, finished with school, yet still living at home. They are probably 3 or 4 years apart. I find them a little hard to tell apart - both slender and pretty, with long dark hair.

Whenever anyone leaves the house, everyone remaining in the house comes to the front porch to call out, "I'll see you later! I love you!"

It's sort of sweet the first few times. Once you realize it happens about 5 times a day, it becomes a little comical to the point that if we see anyone leave their house, Alec and I call in falsetto voices, "I loooove you!"

While it is very endearing to see how devoted those girls are to their parents, I hope our girls won't be still living at home in their 20s...

Midget

We had to go out to get Alec's contact lenses "fitted" today, which really meant we had to have the sample the eye doctor gave him last week replaced. They determined he needed "extended fitting" and charged another $50.

The good news is that my glasses were in, so I picked them up. They look cute, but the stronger prescription, the first change I've had since I was 18, is a big adjustment. I was trying to explain to Alec that it makes me feel very short. He says it's probably been a while since I've seen the ground clearly...

No bragging

Because whenever I brag about my girls sleeping, they stop.

Last night, of course, was another sleep strike. Lauren demanded her stuffies at 11:30 PM, a drink of water, and then had to go to the potty. After I finally got her down after midnight, Lindsay woke up and had to eat. She was up again at 4.

Alec returned on the red-eye from Scottsdale at 7, and woke up Lauren as he came upstairs.

Not so much loving this.

Lady Epiphany, Iron Chef

I'll admit it. I kind of enjoy those days past when I should've gone grocery shopping because it really encourages creativity.

It started Monday night when I realized that I didn't want to cook anything in the freezer and had no meat thawed. I pulled out a package of tofu, a can of black beans, some salsa, torillas, and shredded cheese and made some vegetarian soft tacos.

Alec took a bite of the taco and looked inside at the cubed tofu. "What the heck is that? Tofu?! I didn't know we even had tofu."

"Is it ok?"

"Well, it could really use some ground beef," he said, as he gobbled the 2 tacos on his plate and went looking for seconds.

I'd saved about half the can of black beans and half the tofu package. So last night for dinner (because Lauren talked me into McDonald's on Tuesday night) I made chili with black beans, adding to it some red beans, onions, and green pepper, and stuffed some potato skins with it.

Warming the leftover chili and scooped out potato in a skillet, I added 3 eggs and some cheese and made us a Mexican frittata for lunch.

Tonight I plan to cook a stir fry with the leftover tofu, green beans, carrots, and green peppers, and serve it over some brown rice.

Hands

I noticed this morning that Lauren no longer has those pudgy little toddler hands and dimpled wrists. Her hands are slim, smooth, and cool to the touch. She climbed in my bed this morning at 7:30 to give me a hug, and entwined her fingers with mine.

Lindsay woke at 8, just as Lauren and I finished brushing our teeth and making the beds. When I picked up the cooing, gurgling Lin, she put her open hand on my shoulder - round, dimpled, and warm.

What a couple of cuties...

Two cute

Our nighttime routine is we three take a bath together. Lindsay gets washed up first, and then Lauren. When Lauren is done washing, Lindsay and I get out so Lauren can play for 10 minutes. Lindsay gets a baby massage with lavendar baby lotion and jammied up.

Then Lauren gets out and gets jammied up. She brushes her teeth, and has her fluoride.

Depending on the time, we then read between 1 and 4 stories of Lauren's choosing. Since she recently received a dozen Dr Seuss books from Scholastic, often it's one of those. Tonight it was Eric Carle's The Grumpy Ladybug, then 2 Dr Seuss books: The Cat in the Hat and Horton Hears a Who.

By the time the Wickersham family were trying to rope up Horton and put him in a cage, both girls were snoozing. I finished the book and tucked Lindsay into her crib, then came back in to Lauren's room to turn off her light and on her fan. Besides the excitement with the 3 police cruisers, the fire chief, and one lone engine at our house, our day was pretty quiet, but apparently enough to tucker those girls right out.

Excuse me, it's pronounced Dooo-mas

We had a visit today from the very fast and diligent HPPD today after Lady Epiphany aka Mrs Dumbass ran the dishwasher. I threw an empty pitcher of iced tea in there without checking to see if the tea bags were out of it. During the dry cycle, one of them started smoldering on the heating coil.

I went into the kitchen to look for smoke, and realized it was the running dishwasher. I turned it off, grabbed my kids and my cellphone and stepped outside to call 911. Verizon emergency was much better at getting me connected to the local dispatch than either of our previous carriers, however, I did have the advantage of knowing what town I was in at the time and being able to provide a street address.

Three police cruisers arrived about 2 minutes after I was connected to their dispatch. The fire chief followed, but at that point, the police officers had located the smokey teabag and took it out of the house with a pair of kitchen tongs.

So the whole escapade took about 15 minutes and fortunately, none of my immediate neighbors were home so they didn't get to see the spectacle.

Adoration

Lauren is Lindsay's favorite person by far. Whenever she sees Lauren, she smiles and squeals.

Today at bedtime, Lauren was singing a song, and Lindsay tried to sing along.

Good morning

The sleep deprivation has risen to a brutal crescendo these days. Sentence formation in both the written and spoken word has declined to nearly unintelligible gibberish.

But still when I hear those cries at 6 AM, like every morning, I get up and feed the little smiler. This morning, Lauren had snuck into our bed in the middle of the night, so I found her lying between us with one arm thrown over her toussled head. When Lindsay saw her sleeping sister, she squealed and waved her arms. The early morning reunion once Lauren woke up was very sweet.

"Goo goo be bada. Uh huh." said Lindsay, smiling.

"Hi, little sis. I love you." Lauren replied sleepily.

Determination

Lauren, August 2006

My beautiful Lauren,

In the 1440 days we've shared together, my daughter, you have taught me more about determination than any other person in my life. I can be strong-willed and stubborn, yet it pales in comparison to you digging your heels in and insisting you're right. You're usually not, little girl, but some day you will be and I hope you know that same conviction then.

Today when we arrived at daycare, 4 of your friends were playing house. Linnea invited you to play while the others feigned sleep, and told you you had to be the baby. You tossed your head back, stamped your feet, and replied tersely, "Gawd, I am SO sick of this. I do not want to be the baby. Some one else has to be the baby."

How I admire you. When I was a little girl, I would've swallowed that lump in my throat and said, "OK, Linnea."

You're starting to piece together this crazy world we live in. That people and things die hasn't eluded you. When we were so worried about telling you about those little tetra in your fish tank that just didn't make the transition from the fish store to your little 10 gallon tank, you merely said, "Fish die". Today you asked me about my grandfather, and I told you he died when I was a teenager of lung cancer, you replied, "My Grandpa Arthur died too".

You're an amazing person, Lauren. I love you.

Love,
Mom

N-O spells no

Lauren has learned to spell a couple of words in the past week. She apparently learned to spell no at Nanny's house when she stayed overnight 3 weeks ago. I can't really imagine what the application of that was, however, its result is that every time she sees a traffic sign with "No" on it, she says "N-O spells no". And I usually say, "Yes. And that sign says 'No parking when road is snow covered' or 'No left turn'." She has learned her left from her right with the practice of talking about it every time we put on her sneakers, and so now she recognizes that an arrow to the left inside a red circle with a slash through it means 'No left turn'.

After a couple of days ruminating over a particularly annoying email from everyone's favorite stepmom-in-law, I finally managed to say no in a firm, but polite reply. I received a call from her today. She actually did not bring up the event in question that I said no to attending in a firm, but polite way, which was what I expected. But complained about the last line of the email where I refused to let Lauren stay at her house the weekend preceding my birthday because that was when we planned to celebrate as a family.

Says she, "I can't believe your stinkin' (not the actual word used) birthday is that weekend. And why your kids have to be there for it is just beyond me...and..."

"I was here first." I said simply.

"Well, there is no need to get snippy."

N-o spells no, I thought. But said, "No, you're right. I'm sorry if I seemed snippy."

Aspiring actress

Lauren was in her first play today. It was called Caps for Sale, and she was a monkey. Here the monkeys are doing some sort of modern dance that involved a lot of jumping. They are wearing caps.

Lauren, August 2006

Little sis Lindsay is just a monkey.

Lindsay at 13 1/2 weeks, August 2006

Lindsay at 3 months

...weighs 11 pounds, 2.2 ounces and is 22 inches tall.

At the moment, she is not pleased to have gotten 2 vaccinations today. Poor little.

Dropping by on their way through

James, Claire, and the girls

James and Lindsay

Married bliss tip #57

When you're on a business trip, don't point out to your wife that you really really must get to sleep because it's after midnight and you have to be down in the hotel lobby at 8 AM. The next feeding is at approximately 4:30 AM, honey. When someone calls you at 7:30 AM to roll out of bed into a quiet, hot shower, they will probably bring up a cup of coffee. Maybe even a scrambled egg, a couple slices of toast, and some cantalope with strawberries. If I'm lucky, the baby won't spit up half her feeding on my shoulder.

Oh, right. I'm not lucky.

Clone baby

Lauren at 12 weeks, December 2002

Lindsay at 12 weeks, August 2006.

The girls

Lauren, a month from her 4th birthday, and Lindsay, 12 weeks.

Overheard in the tub

The farmer in the Dell
The farmer in the Dell
Hi ho the dairy-O
The farmer in the Dell

The farmer takes a shower
The farmer takes a shower
Hi ho the dairy-O
The farmer takes a shower

The little lion roared

Lauren is staying with her Poppy and Nanny this weekend. We spend all week looking forward to a little quiet time, and then spend the entire time she's gone talking about how much we miss her.

We managed to venture out early this morning to some garage sales, and then realized what we really need to do is have a garage sale, not buy stuff at one. So we both got our hair cut, and we came home and lugged all of our sellable stuff into the sun porch. We didn't manage to sort through our books yet or Lauren's toys, because it is the sort of task that after a couple of hours, you're completely exhausted.

We're trying to stay up long enough for Jess to arrive to watch Lindsay so we can enjoy our dinner at Nova Terra in New Brunswick. I'm glad we weren't planning dinner and a movie tonight, because I don't think we'd make it.

Lauren is due to return tomorrow morning at 11 AM.

Poker, anyone?

The pink kitty purse was named Poker. Notwithstanding that's an odd name for a pet...

Today, Lauren held up a drawing on a pink sheet of paper with large circles drawn in green crayon.
"Is it a face?"

"No, Mommy. It's frogs."

"Oh, sure. Green frogs."

"Yep. Playing poker."

Bad mommy

We continue our bad mommy theme this week, where Lauren and I discuss that it's time for her to get herself dressed and undressed. Everytime we have this conversation, it leads many tears and much screaming.

Finally today, after the megatantrum, I helped her get dressed. But I will admit, I was annoyed with the precious little urchin. I dressed her in matching clothes because I knew that would rile up her Virgo sense of style. When she gave me a dirty look for making her look like Barney the Dinosaur, I replied, "Well, maybe next time you'll get yourself dressed like I asked you to..."
"I can't get myself dressed, Mommy."

"You can so get yourself dressed, Lauren. But if you decide not to, I hope you like what you're wearing, because you'll be wearing it a very long time."

She wrinkled her nose.

"And it will start to smell..."

"Oh Mommy."

Explosive situations

I've shared with you, dearest Internet, that I swear prolifically. At my last job, it was remarked upon occasionally by my Quaker cubemate. Considering my boss swore like an Armenian sailor, I wasn't too concerned about the impact it might have on my job. I mean, really. Everyone has potty mouth in advertising.

I try to curtail my R-rated language around my kids. I don't always succeed.

My parents almost never swore in my recollection. My mother's language only becomes colorful after a few drinks. She relished to tell the story wherein your heroine drove home from her job in the City with 2-year-old Lauren in tow yelling "Hafta potty! Hafta potty!". As soon as Lauren's feet hit the driveway, she piddled into her shoes. Looking down at the growing puddle, she muttered, exasperated, "Oh...shit."

Lauren at age 2.

Today, we walked to daycare hand in hand. Lindsay was asleep in the snugli. She recounted a story about how one of her teachers said a bad word and told a student to shut up.

"We know that's not a very nice thing to say," I replied.

"Right." Lauren said. "Which is why the next time she does it, I'm going to fuck her up."

Now, dear Internet, I will admit to dropping my fair share of F-bombs, but I can't even think of a single time I've used that particular expression. So the first thought I had was Good usage. Lauren says "telled" instead of "told" and "holded" instead of "held", but she hit this one solidly. Oh, right. I am supposed to be parenting. "That isn't a good thing to say either," I said. "It isn't polite."

"Oh. Ok, Mom."

Here's where we usually have a conversation about what we say politely instead. As for the first example where it is impolite to tell someone to shut up, we might politely as them to be quiet, please. I said, "In that situation, rather than messing her up," I didn't repeat the offending word here, "you might remind her to ask someone nicely to be quiet."

"That's a good idea, Mom."

Lauren learns about life from Chion

I missed this moment. The photography is spectacular.

"Ooh. What's that?"
"My tongue is pierced."

"Can I touch it?"
"Sure."
"Eww!"

From James and Claire's going away party

A few photos from my brother James' going away party. He and his girlfriend, Claire, leave in 8 days for San Diego.Dad and Lindsay, after their marathon feeding session.

Alec, my brother James, and James' friend Brian enjoying the Yuka-Yuka. A bottle of Kettle One infused with several lemons and limes and left to ferment overnight with a half box of sugar. The resulting lemontini was passed and enjoyed, and Yuka-Yuka-Yuka chanted as the mix was shaken vigorously. It's Alec's turn in this shot.
Lauren playing Hide-and-Seek with G

My sister Juliana and Claire's brother Neil

That's Doctor Quack to you

"Little Bear's doctor is called Dr Quack."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Is he a duck?"

"She."

"Is she a duck?"

"Yep. She likes it when you call her 'Doc Quack'."

Lauren at daycare

Alec brought Lauren into daycare today while Lindsay and I waited in the car. We were on our way to drop him off at Newark so he could fly to, you guessed it, Miami.

The daycare is in a converted house about the same vintage as ours. There are 3 rooms downstairs converted into a single classroom with a galley kitchen for the two- and three-year-olds, and up a very steep flight of stairs, three bedrooms have been converted into a classroom and a kitchen for the four- and five-year-olds. Lauren plays with the older kids.

Alec walked her upstairs and got her situated at the large craft table they have with those miniature chairs around it. She began drawing a picture for him.

"See, Daddy? I drew a beautiful picture." said Lauren.

"Yep, that is beautiful."

"No, it's not," offered one of her classmates.

"Well, that is your opinion," Alec said. "I think Lauren's picture is beautiful. And yours is very nice too."

"No it's not, " retorted Lauren.

"I had to get out of there," Alec told me as he recounted the story. "Those girls are meeeean!"